When you’re an Uber driver, you inevitably hear some s***.
During the day it’s probably just a lot of business people and meetings and rich soccer moms, but during the day — oh boy. It gets real. Drunk people throwing up, couples breaking up, guys in costumes and people having affairs; that all happens before 10pm.
Then there’s the secrets. Yes, secrets. People tell their drivers stuff under the assumption that they’ll never see each other again. Or the drivers themselves just overhear something dark and juicy. To see how crazy it gets, this AskReddit thread set out looking for the juicy deets on the weirdest, darkest, and craziest secrets Uber drivers have ever picked up on.
1. From user YetiPie:
I picked up this young overly affectionate couple that spent the entire trip making out in my backseat and telling each other that they loved each other. Cute.
So I drop off the couple and head on my way to pick up my text fare. I hear a cellphone ring in my backseat, realize it’s my previous ride’s, and pick up the phone to let them know I have it and I’ll come back to drop it off. Turns out it was the guys wife phoning to check in on him while he was on a business trip, which he was thoroughly enjoying with his mistress.
2. From user Cayhawt:
1. Two girls taking about how they fucked the same guy. Both agreed his dick was too big and he was hurting them by lasting too long, both concluded he was gay.
2. Two middle aged couples trying to agree to a foursome.
3. From user asudan30:
Drove UBER one night… it was pretty tame until I picked up two guys who wanted to go to a strip club 40 miles away. As they requested an UberSelect fare I was happy to drive that far. ($80-100) It took them 15 minutes to get ready and into the car and they seemed cool so I wasn’t worried.
As soon as we got on the freeway the guy in the passenger seat started asking about UBER driving and things got dark. After a few minutes he started saying shit like “what would you do if someone just grabbed the steering wheel and ran the car into the median” and “have you ever thought about what would happen if someone in the back seat tried to strangle you while you were driving?” I got a little freaked out and tried to lighten the mood by asking what they were celebrating, etc, but the one guy just kept at it.
I was happy to get to the strip club and get them the hell out of the car. Bonus was the bouncer at the club gave me $40 for dropping them off there. I never drove UBER again. Fuck that.
4. From an anonymous user:
Happened to a friend of mine – He picked up these two girls, lets say Ashley and Emily, who were each other’s best friends going out to celebrate Emily’s birthday. They were supposed to be going out downtown, but once they were both in the car Emily said was not in the mood and wanted to go back home. Ashley was pissed because she was trying to do something nice for her best friend etc and the two were in a screaming match in my friends car. He ended up dropping off Ashley first and on the way home Emily explained to him that she didn’t want to go out because she is pregnant and Ashley doesn’t know.
5. From user jesseholm:
Took this 19 year old kids and what I assumed was his gf back to her house on pride weekend in SF. They made out the whole ride. When I dropped them off, only she got out. He said “Take me to Castro and 18th.” I said “Really?” and he said “Yeah, I only make out with girls when I’m rolling.” Never a dull moment in San Francisco.