4.
The first thing my fiancé did when he walked in the door was to loudly announce all the hot kinky stuff he was about to do to me on the kitchen table. Unfortunately for him my dad, mother and both my brothers had just dropped in for a visit and heard every word he said.
5.
I was having sex with my husband when the pores on his forehead triggered my trypanophobia. We had to stop before I had a panic attack.
6.
I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been “left behind”. I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore.
7.
Things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and I. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered: “God help me for what I’m about to do.” Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly.
8.
I was having sex with an ex when he whispered in my ear, “Who’s my baby?” I, being very bad at dirty talk, said, “You.”
9.
I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed “JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!” and shot his load in my eyes.