5.
friend: just act mature
me: okay
[later on date]
her: so what do you do for fun?
me: *with a calm voice* my taxes— yabkat (@ohen39) April 22, 2018
4.
ME: *whispering to date as symphony orchestra begins playing beethoven’s 5th* can you believe a dog wrote this
— FROVO (@fro_vo) November 9, 2017
3.
Date: What do you do?
Me: [holds up menu] you just choose a meal from this book of food— Jon (@ArfMeasures) February 28, 2018
2.
[blind date]
HER: I’m a big country fan
ME {trying to impress her}: China is very large
— Todd ‘Papi’ Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) July 4, 2017
1.
[First date]
Her dad: I want her home before midnight
Me: but you already own her home
Dad: *turning to daughter* if you don’t sleep with him, I will
— your bff alex (@psybermonkey) June 20, 2018