20+ Things Carrie Bradshaw Wore On ‘SATC’ That Would’ve Gotten Me Beat Up In Middle School

Sex and the City is still one of the most fun things to watch, for the soap opera plot points in tandem with Carrie Bradshaw’s sophomoric sexual attitudes as much as for the fashion. The fashion!

Sarah Jessica Parker became a prevailing fashion icon worldwide, and for good reason. Costume designer Patricia Field was single-handedly responsible for people’s newfound obsessions with nameplate necklaces, giant flower corsages, and Manolo Blahniks.

This isn’t to say that all of Carrie’s outfits were bangers. No judgment here. With multiple outfit changes for each of the four stylish characters per episode (94 in total from 1998 until 2004!) how could they be? Also, let me reiterate: 1998 to 2004. Arguably the most confusing time in fashion.

That being said, any and all of these outfits would’ve gotten me bullied relentlessly in middle or high school. Also, I don’t care if “in your opinion” some of these are great, so don’t @ me. Don’t do it.

27. Giant graphic tee meets argyle knee socks:

pinterest

The jacket is dope. This outfit might’ve been passable if she buttoned it all the way up to her neck, or if she wasn’t wearing a Katharine Hamnett slogan shirt (designed in solidarity with an anti-nuclear female group.) But as it stands,  Carrie let her argyle socks take center stage here.

26. Large pink chenille scarf accentuated with fur tufts:

instagram

Anyone who wears this deserves whatever they have coming, much like Season 6 Carrie.

25. Board shorts meets bikini top:

instagram

If anyone could pull of men’s lime green/brown Pacsun board shorts, its SJP’s banging body. But just because she could does not mean she should, and even 7th grade me knew better than that.

24. Huge butterfly necklace:

instagram

It’s amazing to think this necklace— designed by Kenneth Jay Lane— became so popular it sold out everywhere and appeared in Time magazine. The 00s were a different time, friends.

23. Rhinestoned bedazzled bandana:

pinterest

Not even mentioning the pilly built-in-bra strapless dress with built-in belt here. The bandana— while a really good look on J.Lo— is a really bad look on anybody who isn’t J.Lo, or at the very least a WOC.

22. This confusing top:

instagram

Confounding. I tried to find the designer, but I didn’t try that hard. All I know is that it hurts my eyes and, coincidentally, seems like exactly the kind of thing I’d want to wear to school in 6th grade, but ultimately (and luckily) be too afraid to.

21. All the pearls:

pinterest

WE GET IT. You just watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s, smh.

20. Stitched bandanna dress/mustard shawl/frumpy cowboy hat:

instagram

PICK ONE, CARRIE.

19. Paperboy hat and loose tie as accessories:

This has got to be one of the worst outfits to appear on television. Inexcusable.