If you read the title and were curious if it was a mistake or a typo, it wasn’t. It’s the reality of the world we live in today. A transgender man has successfully given birth to a healthy child. The delivery comes four years after Kaci Sullivan began her transition to male from female. Kaci, who is a 30-years-old transgender man, and lives in Wisconsin is no stranger to giving birth. During the years she spent living as a woman he had given birth once before and is now the father of his 5-year-old boy. So this is the second time he has given birth, but the first time as a man.
Kaci had decided to lay off of his male hormones for awhile due to medical issues. Since Kaci wasn’t on the hormones anymore, he and his partner Steve, who is 27-years-old, managed to conceive another child in February. Kaci wasn’t going to allow the hate and negativity slow down what he wanted to do; he would often be ridiculed in public and online because of his transgender baby bump. Kaci, undeterred decided to go forward with the birth and after seven days in labor received a C-section and their child Pheonix was born a healthy baby!
The couple revealed that they do plan on raising their child as gender neutral until they are old enough to decide on their own. Not sure if I necessarily agree with all that, but I am thrilled these two are together enjoying life and building able to build a family together. So many people dream about that since they’re young and I think everyone should have the opportunity to pursue those dreams. I may not necessarily agree with their parenting styles but as long as their child is happy and healthy who’s to say anything? They’re not hurting anybody so why give them a hard time? The way Kaci spoke about the birth of his child sounds like any other parent on the face of the planet.
“The moment the baby came out and I got to hear them cry was indescribable. It’s incredible to think that I had made this little human. We are just so happy and grateful and enjoying spending time together as a family. The baby is delightful, loving and sweet.
“The connection I’ve felt to them throughout my pregnancy has been an incredible privilege and the last nine months have brought my partner and I so close together.”
“Because I don’t see pregnancy as inherently feminine, and because I don’t subscribe to make-believe gender roles, I wasn’t threatened by the idea of pregnancy,” Kaci explained. “It didn’t make me feel any less masculine.”
Luckily, Kaci has some tough skin and isn’t going to let the haters and negative people determine the happiness of him and his family, and for that, we applaud you, Kaci.
“Some people have been perturbed by the idea of me giving birth, but I don’t engage or respond to them. If I see those comments I just get rid of them.”
“They will try and find our safe space and violate it with their opinions, but they are jerks. I don’t waste my time or energy by giving them anything in return.
Kaci has struggled with hatred and his sexuality for a long time; it can’t be easy being transgender. He understands the life his child may face isn’t an easy one. Kaci had been bullied since the age of four and is no stranger to the impact that can have on children. Sadly, this all stems from being different. It takes a brave person to be proudly different than the norm. Struggling with identifying who you are can never be an easy thing. Imagine never really feeling you belong in your skin? Kaci doesn’t have to.
“I was always an anxious kid who felt intuitively disconnected from myself – and in my dreams I was always a boy. I daydreamed almost constantly about what it would be like to be a boy. Puberty was traumatizing for me, and I cried the first time I had to put on a bra.”
Kaci had a first husband back in 2010 he said this eventually led to a deep depression and abusing alcohol. He was drinking excessively and found it difficult to find the will to live. Until he became pregnant with his first child, Kaci figured that becoming a mother would obviously help make him feel less masculine.
“Throughout the experience, I prayed to connect with womanhood, to identify with what was happening to my body, but I couldn’t.
“Felt so hopeless and lost. I wanted to die. I fell into such a dark place and I was terrified to bring a baby into that darkness with me. But the moment they put him in my arms it was bliss. Immediately I loved him like I had never loved anything or anyone and I felt such a surge of duty to him.”
“I couldn’t be this depressed and be a good parent to him. If I didn’t come out and transition, I knew I would eventually succumb to dysphoria, depression and suicide.”
“So, when the baby was three months old, I told my husband I was transgender. ‘I felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted off my chest when I admitted it to myself.”
Kaci talks about the hardships of being true to himself and announcing that he is a transgendered person. He feels more comfortable living life as a male; this ended in the dissolving his first marriage and sadly losing contact with many friends along the way. None of this slowed him down, though! He started his transition to a man in 2013 after undergoing a double mastectomy and beginning to take testosterone. Even if he is transgender, he then went on to meet his current partner through an online dating site. Eventually, the couple tried for a baby and were successful. The couple has interesting views on their babies gender; they claim the gender is completely ‘irrelevant.’
“I wish people realized that they’re not asking me about the baby’s gender identity, There is no way anyone could know that. They’re asking me what my baby’s genitals look like. This is a creepy question when we break it down.
“We don’t need to be sexualizing little children. Nobody but your child should be revealing their gender.”
“Our sex and gender identity have nothing to do with socially constructed gender roles. These are three entirely separate concepts.”
“The architecture of your brain does not change depending on what color you are dressed in as a baby.“
Now, you may not agree with this couples parenting ideologies, I know I don’t. The bottom line is that two people are in a loving relationship, one is transgender. These two sought out to have a child and get the opportunity to live a happy life the way they saw fit. They aren’t hurting anyone so why get on their cases? Let them live their own comfortable lives people, come on! No need for hate. I wish nothing but the best for Kaci, her husband, and their son Pheonix! Spread the love, folks!