19 Things Sinners Are Buying On The Internet This Week

Hey, human sexuality is nothing to be afraid of. If you’ve never forayed into the world of sex toys, you are missing out my friend. What have you been using this whole time, your hand? It’s about time to step your game up.

Full Disclosure: We may receive some portion of the sales made on this list. We’re using it to build the world’s biggest dildo, which we plan to erect (hehe) on Roy Moore’s front lawn.

1. A petite lil butterfly kiss vibrator with three speeds, a curved shaft, and, oh, it’s waterproof!

Promising review: “ OH MY GOSH. This lil thing has some POWER. It is meant mostly for the clitoris. The butterfly has 3 speeds. The first, eh nothing really. Second, ok now we are talking. Third, HOLY S***. Actually it was a lil too much at one point. I highly recommend it. Is it the only toy you should have in your drawer, no. But is it something fun and new and will do the job, yes. And its cheap. Im sick of paying high high prices for toys and they end up breaking within a year or two. So if this does crap out, it was less than $10. So go for it.

Update: I love this vibrator. For such a tiny thing is really packs a punch. Does the job every time. I’d like to make one suggestion, and this is for any vibrator, when you are finished, take out the batteries until the next use. This will save the life of your batteries and last longer.”

Get it from Amazon for $8.16. Available in a cute blue, too!

2. Velcro vaginal splay straps for ultimate versatility and splay-ability.

Promising review: “pretty fun may need to have a couple drinks beforehand.” Sounds about right.

Get it on Amazon for $12.99.

3. A silicone dildo hand. Because your own hand is not silicone.

Promising review: “Once the show started I quickly learned how much potential this toy has. Both I and My girlfriend loves the size of this toy and keeps commenting on how realistic it feels compared to other toys that are either rock hard or floppy. Recommend it!”

There’s also a fist version. Get it on Amazon for $17.99.

4. Or even better, get a handless torso love doll with the only anatomical part that truly matters.

Promising review: “I am a female truck driver I needed him it is the best safe sex and I adore him I am glad that he was made so big UPS to his creator you did a great job he is awesome.”

He is priced at a whopping $183.95, but it may be the best $183.95 you ever spend. Get it on Amazon.

5. This Fifty Shades inspired leather handcuffs and blindfold set that the description promises will “definitely make both of you a wonderful night.”

How can you deny yourself that?! Plus it comes in this cute leather/pink fur combo.

Promising review: “Very soft fabric and the ties are very strong. I wish they were a little longer but the lady friend loves them.”

Get it on Amazon for $11.99.

6. An anal plug set (beginner-friendly!) that comes with 4 different plug sizes.

These medical silicone plugs also come with lube and an enema bottle!

Promising review: “She loved them!….all of them. haha”

Get the set on Amazon for $15.99.