MTV’s decadently trashy reality TV show Jersey Shore was an enigma in that it was the first of its kind. It featured wonderfully awful characters who, in their perpetually drunken state, were more caricatures than real human beings. The show aired between 2009 and 2012 and yet everyone on it inexplicably donned the type of gear more common to the turn of the century. Were people really still non-ironically wearing Von Dutch trucker hats as late as 2010? Snooki certainly was!
Almost inexplicably, MTV has decided to bring back the franchise with an eight-episode reality series sequel called Floribama Shore. This questionable show is set in the Florida Panhandle on Panama City Beach, which is decidedly in the state of Florida. Why the producers felt the need to bring Alabama into it is beyond me, aside from the likelihood that they really want to drive home the fact that the white people on the show are going to be racist. JUST KIDDING, maybe. Who knows. Time alone will tell. At least there are POC in this version.
The show follows eight young adults as they party the summer away on a Florida beach. The MTV announcement reads:
“Each is armed with incredible life experiences and standing at a crossroads, whether it’s ending a relationship, tasting independence for the first time, or trying to escape the past. This coming of age story captures the very real thrill and angst of being young and trying to figure out the future with a group of people you’ll come to call family.”
The translation? A lot of flying fists, tears, and bad clubs. At least that’s what the official trailer promises.
Hey this might not be such a bad thing after all! Check out the cast members below:
Kortni Gilson, 21, from Panama City Beach:
Aimee Hall, 24, from Perdido, Alabama:
Candace Rice, 24, from Memphis:
— Candace Rice (@pimpfriedrice_) October 30, 2017
Gus Smyrnios, 22, from Tallahassee, Florida:
A year and a half ago I struggled just being able to pay for my meals (in my wallets defense I do eat ALOT) and dropped out of school because I couldn't afford it. Now im back enrolled and I'm able to show up and pay cash for a Cadillac ? don't let the rough times keep you down, keep moving forward and make it happen ?? #cadillac #selfmade #notsponsoredbymommyanddaddy #cts #blackedout #blackedoutcadillac #whip #stank #stankycheese #treatyoself
Codi Butts, 25, from Westminster, South Carolina:
Kirk Medas, 25, from Atlanta:
Nilsa Prowant, 23, from Panama City Beach:
Jeremiah Buoni, 22, from Amelia Island, Florida:
Also, the duck phone is now a gator phone:
Which really begs the question, what sound will it make when it rings? Floribama Shore will premiere on MTV on Monday, November 27 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.