41.
42.
When God closes a door, he opens a window. And then a couple of tabs so he can toggle between various genres of porn.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) May 29, 2015
43.
God said to Noah "Build me an ark", then He slipped and His big papier-mâché head fell off, and Noah saw He was Dave, who wanted a free boat
— Pixhellated Boat (@pixelatedboat) September 20, 2015
44.
tripped and fell in my heelys jesus take the wheelys
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) March 1, 2015
45.
Me: "Hey you forgot to close the door! Were you born in a barn?"
Jesus: "Yes."
Me: "Oh, it's you. Sorry, Jesus."
Jesus: "I forgive you."— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) May 15, 2012
46.
God: kill your son
Abraham: uh…ok
God: holy shit I'm jk
Abraham: umm…
God: I'll probably kill mine tho lol
Abraham: wtf?— paperwash© (@PaperWash) November 11, 2015
47.
[god, creating ducks]
Just like put a surfboard mouth on a big pigeon and make it like a loud idiot. I don't know
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) January 15, 2015
48.
"Jesus, what about where there only one set of footprints?" "Oh, for– Yeah, man. I left you. You're a needy whiner who can't let shit go."
— Sean Tejaratchi (@ShittingtonUK) April 7, 2013
49.
