6. They rely on you for happiness.
This was a huge problem in my situation. My ‘friend’ relied on me to fix her depression. How was I supposed to do that when I was 17, going through my own problems? Normal friendships are a balance of making yourself happy and making the other person happy, but this friendship, like most toxic friendships, was the complete opposite.
7. They self-deprecate…all the time.
A toxic friend will constantly put themselves down in front of you so that you have to build them up. They’ll constantly put you in a situation where you have to assure them so many times a day that they’re pretty, smart, funny, etc. Anything to boost their ego.
8. They’re manipulative.
This can get really dangerous too. A toxic friend can manipulate you into thinking and act certain ways in order to make them happy, and they can manipulate other people into thinking that everything is okay between you two, so they ignore any signals you might be trying to give other people, making you look like the bad guy when you finally decide to leave.
9. In an extreme, they threaten you.
This is dangerous. If nothing else is a red flag to get out of that friendship, this definitely is. I had a really toxic friend when I was younger threaten to harm herself if I wasn’t her friend anymore. It was wild, and I knew I had to get out of there, ASAP because it got to the point where it became extremely unhealthy and scary for me. Toxic friends will do whatever it takes to keep you in their life and continue to control you, and that’s how you know when it’s time to get help leaving that relationship.
10. They play the “victim.”
This usually happens after you remove yourself from the friendship. Your toxic friend will feel defeated by you choosing to prioritize yourself and things will probably get messy- or at least they did for me. I’ve been in this situation twice now, and both times, the friend told people untrue, and really negative things about me in order to have the upper hand. It has been years, and there are STILL people who hate me because my ‘friend’ made things up about me. I’m over it.