There are a lot of popular, common pieces of life advice that everyone loves to share with their friends and family when they’re going through a rough time.
While some of them may seem as though they’re the right way to think, or some pieces of advice are “crystal clear,” when you truly think about it, some of the oldest pieces of advice are just straight up bad. Just because sayings have been around forever, doesn’t mean you should continue to follow them forever and always. BuzzFeed asked their users to share some of the popular pieces of life advice they completely disagree with–and they all have a pretty good point.
“Find something you love and make a career out of that.”
It’s the advice you hear most in high school about picking a major and a career, but it’s pretty much useless. Unless you have a passion that translates well into a job, like a sport or painting, the saying doesn’t help you. And no matter how much you love the work you do, there is always going to be other sides of it. If you love photography and become a photographer, you still have to deal with clients and handle marketing and finance, not just take pictures. Better advice would be to find a career which lets you do what you love.
“Don’t change for anyone! You’re perfect as you are.” Actually, you probably aren’t, and that’s great! Humans aren’t meant to be perfect and stay the same their whole lives. Our minds have the capacity to learn from our mistakes and grow. We should take advantage of that and work towards becoming our best selves. Of course, that doesn’t mean that we should view ourselves as imperfect in a negative sense (as though our imperfections make us less worthy of something), but we could see our imperfections as room for growth. If one tends to be petty and subsequently damages their relationships, that’s something that they can change little by little in order to improve how they communicate with others and resolve issues. Why be perfect when you can just be human and learn so many new things? Perfection is super overrated!
No question is a stupid question. People say and ask dumb shit all the time. Sometimes people should use their commonsense and intiution because it can take you pretty far.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try try again”. That’s good advice up to a point, but sometimes you have to realize you’re wasting your efforts on something that will never happen. You could better use your resources elsewhere and actually be successful at something else.
“Blood is thicker than water” – ummm no, you don’t *have* to be loyal towards your family under all circumstances.
Sometimes your friends, the persons you actively chose to be close to, are more important to you than your relatives, and it’s absolutely fine. Especially when your family is toxic for you.
(In regards to not having kids)
“Don’t be closed minded! You’ll change your mind someday… you’ll see!”
No, Karen, I won’t, as there has been a hundred factors influencing my decision to not have kids. But since I have a uterus and society says I should want them, I’ll for sure change my mind!
“Boys will be boys.”
No. Boys will be held accountable for their actions. That statement allows boys to think that harassing women and disrespecting other people is okay, which it isn’t. When I babysit (which I’ve been doing for years), boys and girls are held to the same standard of respect.
I hate the saying “it’s better to live with remorse that you did something than to live with regret because you didn’t do it”. At least personally, if I choose to not do something, I have thought about it and have some reason – which makes it pretty hard to regret not taking action. Plus, regret is usually confined to one person, where remorse (coming from some action) probably involves other people. Doing something because you want to avoid regret just seems like a great way to screw things up and involve more people than necessary.
“Forgive and forget.” I’m neither Jesus, nor do I have Alzheimer’s.
“Everyone is entitled to their opinion.” No they’re not. An opinion is “I don’t like black coffee.” Not “I don’t like black people.” You can not justify racism, sexism, homophobia or anything of that sort with an opinion. If your opinion infringes on the rights of other people’s lives I do not have to respect it.
Money can’t buy happiness. Money can relieve stress on your crippling student debt which in turn makes you happy.