11.
If you sleep till noon you only have to pay for 2 meals instead of 3
— Colten Harris (@HarrisColten) February 20, 2017
12.
why is my stomach so flat in the mornings until i eat a crumb and i'm suddenly 8 months pregnant with twins
— Marley Alexis Lacey (@marleylaceyx) July 20, 2017
13.
All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes should be called Four Pancakes.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) January 15, 2017
14.
Sorry I told you we should definitely hang out sometime and then didn't answer my phone for 5 years
— Ashes to ashes (@adult_mom) May 1, 2017
15.
I wish horses knew that every person who drives by them says, "Oh look. Horses."
— The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork) March 10, 2017