15 Of The Best F***ing Deals On Amazon Today

We get it: you don’t have the time or patience to poke around Amazon all day looking for cool stuff to buy. Thing is, we do! So we scrolled through endless garbage to find the coolest stuff and bring it right to your screen. Thank us later. Or now! Thank us whenever you want.

Full disclosure:We may receivesome portion of the sales made on this list. We’re using the money to stock up on allergy medication for the fall.

1. This wacky turntable.

Looks like it’s from Willy Wonka, but you wont be in physical danger.

Check it out here!

2. A warming butter knife.

That’s right, it warms itself up to slice through butter like a… well, like a hot knife through butter.

Check it out here!

3. A gradient puzzle.

It’s super hard, but when you finish it you’ll feel like you’re a little closer to death.

Check it out here!

4. Beer earrings.

Beerrings? Bearrings? Nope…

Check ’em out here!

5. A UPS dog costume.

Knock knock! Have package! Am doggo.

Check it out here!

6. An Edison desk lamp.

Flick it on whenever you have a brilliant idea. Then turn it off when you realize someone thought of that before.

Check it out here!

7. A cactus romper.

If only it were actually spiky.

Check it out here!

8. This nerdy polar bear.

Could also be a hipster polar bear depending on what you’re into.

Check it out here!

9. Hummingbird toothpicks.

Perfect for parties where all your favorite hummingbirds are coming over.

Check ’em out here!

10. An all-in-one hot dog toaster.

For those emergency hot dog situations. You know what I’m talking about.

Check it out here!

11. Mat.

Hi Mat!

Check it out here!

12. This monkey pizza cutter.

Make pizza cutting a little more fun, before you eat all the pizza in a blind fury.

Check it out here!

13. Squirrel tea infusers.

Nothing starts the day better than some squirrel butt in your tea.

Check it out here!

14. This tote bag.

Which you need like, yesterday.

Check it out here!

15. This angry guy.

Expresses your love of Inside Out, while also warning people not to talk to you.

Check it out here!