15 Of The Best F***ing Deals On Amazon Today

We get it: you don’t have the time or patience to poke around Amazon all day looking for cool stuff to buy. Thing is, we do! So we scrolled through endless garbage to find the coolest stuff and bring it right to your screen. Thank us later. Or now! Thank us whenever you want.

Full disclosure: We may receive some portion of the sales made on this list. We’re using it to feed our cat. Oh yeah — we’re getting a cat!

1. This pin for all the Nasty Women out there.

Wear it while you read the new Hillary Clinton book. Or wear it while you recover from your weekend hangover.

Check it out here!

2. A Captain America mug to get your day started.

Haven’t you always wanted to drink warm liquids out of Chris Evans’ face?

Check it out here!

3. This doughnut pillow looks bomb af.

Pillows and doughnuts are really the only reasons life exists on Earth.

Check it out here!

4. Who needs a boyfriend when you have the boyfriend pillow!

This pillow will never tell you to “Chill out, babe.” Which is worth all the money in the world.

Check it out here!

5. A sushi phone case because sushi is life.

Now you can answer all your calls by saying “Wassaaaaabi.” Just kidding, never do that.

Check it out here!

6. This brave lil toaster does it all!

It’s a notepad, a clip holder, and a pencil sharpener all in one. Plus it’ll remind you of toast. Warm, delicious, crunchy toast.

Check it out here!

7. Look at this little bread pillow!

It’s almost as lovable as actual bread. Mmmm bread.

Check it out here!

8. Enter your final form with these slippers.

Finally you can be a hobbit while just walking around the house.

Check it out here!

9. A baseball-bat spatula!

For the woman who loves baseball as much as she loves pancakes.

Check it out here!

10. This unicorn pool float is next-level chilling.

It’s also safer than real unicorns, which can’t float. It’s true.

Check it out here!

11. Bacon and egg earrings!

I mean, come on.

Check ’em out here!

12. This… is a… thing.

It’s a piggy bank! And it… is… well…

Check it out here!

13. This sriracha water bottle for when you’re feeling spicy.

Fact: No one catcalls a woman when it looks like she’s chugging straight hot sauce from a huge bottle.

Check it out here!

14. A cheeseboard that unleashes your inner lumberjack.

Next thing you know you’ll be wearing plaid and growing hair everywhere. Oh wait, it’s autumn, you’re already doing that.

Check it out here!

15. This little sleeping pod for your furry friend.

Honestly, I’m mostly posting this to get a campaign going for a human-sized one. Who’s with me?!

Check it out here!