15 Of The Best F***ing Deals On Amazon Today

We get it: you don’t have the time or patience to poke around Amazon all day looking for cool stuff to buy. Thing is, we do! So we scrolled through endless garbage to find the coolest stuff and bring it right to your screen. Thank us later. Or now! Thank us whenever you want.

Full disclosure: We may receive some portion of the sales made on this list. We’re using the money to buy hot dogs for our apocalypse shelter because apparently they do not come with hot dogs. 

1. This foxy mug.

Feel more like a fox, you foxy fox.

Check it out here!

2. This sleek audio interface.

It lets you control the volume of everything around you, except for the sound of your boyfriend eating a quesadilla.

Check it out here!

3. A moon lamp.

The moon landing was real, people. WAKE UP!

Check it out here!

4. A yellow submarine for your bathroom.

A great conversation piece if Ringo Starr ever comes over.

Check it out here!

5. This grenade ice mold.

The finished product is only slightly more dangerous than an actual grenade.

Check it out here!

6. These stress balls.

They look like the faces of little haters.

Check ’em out here!

7. Pumpkin spreaders.

Just in time for fall! Spread that sh**.

Check it out here!

8. The NES Classic.

It’s the hottest gift of the season. For yourself, obviously.

Check it out here!

9. A 9 foot long rainbow streamer.

Do you need it? No. Do you want it? Yes.

Check it out here!

10. Fried egg earrings.

Perfect for brunch, or for hanging around the house eating eggs.

Check it out here!

11. This lit t-shirt.

It’s fire. I speak millennial.

Check it out here!

12. A carrot whisk.

You can’t really whisk carrots. But you can try.

Check it out here!

13. Hazelnut Truffle tea.

The best three words in the dictionary. Next to “dollar cheese pizza.”

Check it out here!

14. A banana candle.

Perfect to set the mood for any sort of banana activities.

Check it out here!

15. This pink furry pillow.

It looks like what your soul feels like.

Check it out here!