We get it: you don’t have the time or patience to poke around Amazon all day looking for cool stuff to buy. Thing is, we do! So we scrolled through endless garbage to find the coolest stuff and bring it right to your screen. Thank us later. Or now! Thank us whenever you want.
Full disclosure: We may receive some portion of the sales made on this list. We’re using it to start a band made entirely of xylophone players. It’s not going well.
1. A bubble wrap oven mitt!
So you can pop while you don’t drop. Okay that slogan needs a little work.
Check it out here!
2. Floppy disk drink coasters!
If you’re too young to remember floppy discs, just know that they were about as useful as drink coasters.
Check ’em out here!
3. Pinch and dash salt and pepper cups!
So you can finally know what the f*** a pinch and a dash are.
Check ’em out here!
4. A french fry purse!
Better than storing all your money in an actual box of french fries.
Check it out here!
5. An actual Ocarina!
Use it to… open the… forest gate? Or something? I never really played Zelda.
Check it out here!
6. A table top zen garden.
To zen the f*** out with your stressed a**.
Check it out here!
7. Wooden hooks that look like trees!
Really brings the whole “crazy tree lady” vibe of your apartment together.
Check it out here!
8. This brush for sensitive skin.
It looks like it’s from the future, but it’s actually from the right now.
Check it out here!
9. This air purifier shaped like a teddy bear.
I’m not sure why he looks so sad. Maybe he hates his job.
Check it out here!
10. Money toilet paper.
Because that’s just the kind of baller you are.
Check it out here!
11. A thumb drive.
Get it? Do you f***ing get it?
Check it out here!
12. A mug for the best day of the week.
Please consider signing my petition to officially rename Friday to Fri-Yay!
Check it out here!
13. Bacon bandages!
Because the only thing worse than getting a cut is being away from bacon for too long.
Check ’em out here!
14. A Moana keychain!
Take it on your next adventure across the ocean.
Check it out here!
15. Bee socks!
They go all the way up to your knees, making your knees the bees knees. See?
Check it out here!