16.
ALEX TREBEK: this accidental discovery in 1928 opened the door to modern antibiotics
ME: *spraying a mouthful of popcorn* WHAT IS A DOORKNOB— Mowgli (@Holy_Mowgli) August 28, 2017
17.
*Goldfish 911*
Goldfish: What's your emergency?
Goldfish: I don't remember
Goldfish: Don't remember what?
Goldfish: What?
Goldfish: What?— Llama In A Tux (@LlamaInaTux) February 23, 2017
18.
[Creating humans]
GOD: Make them strong
ANGEL: Ok
G: smart
A: got it
G: powerful
A: yes
G: but terrified of tiny wasps
A: love it lol
G: lol— Jon (@ArfMeasures) May 10, 2017
19.
[upbeat commercial]
Mom: My kids used to give me *quite* the headache!
[sets down groceries]
Mom: That's why I gave them away— Hippo (@InternetHippo) August 2, 2016