23 Waiters Share The Most F*cked Up Thing They’ve Overheard While Waiting On Tables

21. MongoBongoTown:

This was over 10 years ago and I had no idea what swinging and wife-swapping was… working breakfast fairly early at a downtown hotel in a big city.

Husband is clearly upset and wife is acting half-sheepish/half-annoyed and they’d instantly get very quiet whenever anyone approached. Their conversation was clearly heated and the restaurant was pretty empty with high ceilings and marble walls (old bank) … so even slightly raised voices carried.

I’m walking towards the table and they didn’t see me coming…

Husband: “How could I not be upset?! You let him fuck your ass! Why did we even talk about rules if they don’t matter?”

22. apollopa:

It was a a slow Tuesday night behind the bar. I had one of my new guests come in, I had tended on him a few times. seemed like a supper nice guy. Tipped well, drank well and ate well. On this particular night a women came and sat down next to him. They seemed to know each other pretty well, so I’m thinking work buddies because I knew he didn’t have a girlfriend. (Honestly I thought he was gay). So an hour or so goes by they have had 2 bottles of really nice wine, ordered basically everything they could off the menu, everyone was having a great time. Then my hostess comes around the corner of the bar and motions for me to come talk to her.

” there is a man on the phone who is extremely upset and needs the bartender to answer the phone” so I go for the phone, having no idea what this man wanted. “Hello sir thank you for holding, what can I help you with?” The man starts with a question, “is there a man with dark short hair, brown eyes, a bit on the bigger side sitting next to a short blond women with blue eyes at your bar?”

I turn around to get another look at them and reply to the man saying “yes they have been here for a while, what’s up?” They man doesn’t say anything for a few seconds then in a very unhappy tone said “That’s my wife and my brother”……. just as he said it I turn to look at the couple one more time only to see the end of a kiss. I told the man I wasn’t sure what I should do, or what he should do. I felt so awful. Seeing this mans life literally crumble.

I told the man i thought I should hang up and he should call his wife. After that the man at my bar asked for his check, tipped well and the 2 of them left. I haven’t seen them since.

23. shitterplug:

I had a summer job at Gilligan’s, which is a shitty seafood place around the Charleston area. I seat this obese black couple who were actually pretty funny. They reminded me a lot of Chef’s parents. Anyways, I bring them their drinks and ask if they’re ready to order. I can’t remember what the husband ordered, but the wife didn’t like it. So he looks at her and says “woman, I’ll still eat that ass of yours when you eat chili, so don’t give me no shit for ordering what I want”. She immediately replied “Harvey, ima just need you to shut the hell up”. Then they both started laughing. Best table ever. And they tipped me like $20.