Was waiting a table a couple days ago for a group of older ladies. While I was walking back to the kitchen, I overheard one of them say “You don’t know what it’s like to be married to such a fucking ugly man” and then said something about waiting for him to die so she’ll gain his money. It shook me up inside.
Two top at a pretty restaurant on the lake. Married couple obviously on the rocks… the guy quite obviously wanted to stay together and she was having none of it. Hushed arguing at the table the entire meal. As I am dropping the check he asks, “what about the baby?” She replies “you don’t have to worry about that.. it’s not yours!” And storms off. Poor guy was weeping when I returned with the credit card slips.
Not overheard but saw when I bussed tables in high school:
I watched someone change a poopy baby diaper directly on the vinyl booth seat, then leave the poop smeared wipes and poop filled diaper on a plate on the table!
Woman (smelling the fish that another table had ordered): “Oh god, what’s that gross fish smell?”
Man: “Close your legs.”
I picked my jaw up off the floor and ran away. She screamed at him and made him apologize to me… seems to me like he should have apologized to her but okay.
I worked at a restaurant where you pay at the table and if you wanted a receipt, the server would go print it out and bring it back to you. I was waiting on a woman who every other server refused to deal with because she was such a hassle (she came in all the time). Complained about everything, basically made up her own menu items, etc. At the end of the meal when she was paying I asked if she needed a receipt, she said yes because she wanted proof she was here at this time in case she was accused of murder that night. Probably not the weirdest but the first one that comes to mind.