11 Reasons Jeff Goldblum Is My Celebrity Hall Pass

A hall pass, according to Urban Dictionary, is permission given by your lover to fool around with another person outside your relationship. Jeffrey Lynn Goldblum is my celebrity hall pass. Heres why:

11. He is 65 years old and still devilishly handsome.

The older a man gets, the more he understands himself. This goes for women too, but men mature far later than their female counterparts. (Science will have us believe this gap closes around age 30, though life has shown me it either never closes or does so when a man turns 60ish. Do not @ me.)

The appeal here is not in age difference alone. Bill Murrays character summed it up nicely inLost in Translation when he said,The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you. Jeff Goldblum seems like a man who knows who he is, what he wants, and is not easily upset. This is the opposite of every single dude on Tinder (Do not @ me.)

Jeff Goldblum was born on October 22, 1952, which means that most of his life took place pre-Internet and iPhone. He has lived through arguably the most interesting decades in history, and has come out them looking unreasonably snack-like. This also makes him a Libra, which makes him compatible with me, a Sagittarius.

Finally, hes somehow just better looking now than ever before.


10. This is what he looks like with no pants on.


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Think hard nowwhere did I leave my pants? ???? #wednesday (????: @ninomunoz)

A post shared by Jeff Goldblum (@jeffgoldblum) on

Call me superstitious, but.

9. He has amazing skin and smells good.

I know this because Olivia Munn and Fred Armisen, respectively, said so.

8. He lives life to the fullest.

Liam Hemsworth said Goldblum has the energy of a 10-year-oldhes in fantastic shape, and Paul Rudd described him as so engaged and alive in the moment.

Speaking from the perspective of a woman more than half Jeff Goldblums age who people would be hard-pressed to describe as in fantastic shape and alive in the moment, this joie de vivre resonates strongly.

7. Hes funnyand he can sing.

6. Speaking of singing, Jeff Goldblum plays a jazz show every week in LA.

Hes been singing and playing piano with his band, The Mildred Snitzer Orchestra, since the 90s. Anyone can go see him. I appreciate creativity in a man, but I enjoy accessibility even more.

5. His unique voice and speech patterns.

Edward Norton recalled how Goldblum had sat next to a female friend of his on an airplane and offered to read her book to her.

I dont know if this would interest youand if not, of course no problembut Im very good at reading books aloud, and if youd like Id be happy to read it to you, he said. She said ok. She had about 90 pages left, and Jeff read her the rest of it out loud. She said his reading was excellent.

4. This adorable and surreal video of his baby biting his nose.

Goldblum told Conan OBrien on the episode during which the above aired, Hes so sweet and hes so good and sweet. I enjoy him, I love him to bits. I nuzzle him, I smell him, I kiss him, I talk to him, I make jokes with him, I sing to him.

3. The way his brain works.

In a Reddit AMA, one The Flyinspired fan asked what creature Goldblum would splice his DNA with. He responded, Lets see. Off the top of my head, Id splice myself with a dolphin, and my name would be Surf Goldblum.

2. He loves puppies.

I am of the general opinion that people who dislike dogs harbor a deep-seated flaw, an unnameable one they share with sociopaths and people who enjoy black licorice. Inversely, people who love dogs are instantly good people. Listen, this is my list and these are my rules.


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Puppy love! ???????? @klgandhoda @thetodayshow @isleofdogsmovie (????: @photonate) #puppy

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1. His life advice is the best advice.

You can learn a lot about a person based on the life advice they dole out. Goldblums is genuine and meaningful and is capable of truly changing my life, if I was capable of following advice.

Gee. The best advice ever givento me Lets see. Oh boy. This is a good one. The best advice ever given to me is fill your days with what you love doing. Also, you know, contribute as substantially as you can to the community, and, uh, something the opposite of what the opposite of what the character does inWolf of Wall Street.

Do something worthwhile and substantial, not with any sales technique or baloney on top of it, and give as much as you can. The opposite ofThe Wolf of Wall Street, but I dont know how to put that into a pithy piece of advice. And also, put down your device, whatever it is, when you cross the street. Stop, look, and listen. Both equally important.