I Tried Target’s New $5 Wines And My Life Will Never Be The Same

In the event you needed another excuse to make a Target run, they now sell $5 wines thatareactually really, really good. This is not a sponsored post. In late August Targetintroduced California Roots, a line of $5 wine made in California by California grapes, and this may just be a fiscal game-changer for you and yours.

The line includes a red blend, cabernet, chardonnay, moscato, andpinot grigio, each of which are ONLY FIVE DOLLARS. They’ve made me completely toss out my “I only drink wines that are at least $10/bottle” rule. They even have corks instead of a twist-top (composite, but still!).Maybe youcan have it all.

All of these wines are at least 15 times better than good reliable ole 2 buck chuck, and the $3 difference is a small price to pay for a grateful liver and clearer skull the day after.

Here is what they look like: (NOTE:I had already drank the Red Blend when I remembered I should take a group photo, for journalistic integrity. Hence I have masterfully Photoshopped the missing bottle in, also for journalistic integrity.)

I have ordered them by personal preference. I will always choose a red over a white.

As renowned 13-century Persian poet and scholar Jalaluddin Rumi once said,Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” And as distinguished country musician Kenny Chesney added, “it’s a smile, it’s a kiss, it’s a sip of wine … it’s summertime!” Words to live by.

Note #2:By the time I realized I needed individual photos of the bottles, they were partly empty, except for the reds(!) which were completely empty. Again, my superb Photoshop skills saved the day. C’est la vie!

1. Cabernet

This robust lil 5 dollar cab tastes like fall, fireplaces, crispy burnt orange leaves, a juicy plum, and rolling into a blanket burrito. It feels good for your health. It’s cherry, oaky, velvety.Big fan. Huge!

Great for:Pairing with a filet mignon or Big Mac (dress this bish upordown!), clutching a bottle of while wearing a Pendleton jacket and staring into the Vermont night sky, contemplating your purpose on earth.

2. Red Blend

I enjoyed this Red Blend so much, I was like, “whatis a red blend?”. I was so intrigued I actually went through the time-consuming and exhausting process of Googling it and ended up finding out that SHOCKINGLY it’s just a blend of red wines. Who could’ve guessed?

But this specific red blend was so satisfying I forgot I’d only payed $5 for it. It tasted like: night, the smell of cherrywood, spice, the ocean bottom. This is an exciting wine.