20.
my love languages are dick & food in no particular order
— ???? (@_anonymoustits) July 31, 2018
19.
my toxic father caused me a lot of pain and the only way i can heal is if antoni from queer eye makes me a tiny ass cucumber sandwich
— TWS (@timothysanders) July 29, 2018
18.
white people get pissed when u order something on the menu that they were gonna get
“wtf danny i was gonna get the buffalo chicken wrap”
— chris melberger (@chrismelberger) July 28, 2018
17.
Being alive is so expensive.
— Liz Brody (@lizbrody) August 1, 2018
16.
Two Soulja Boys diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less cranked,
And that has made all the difference.— Joe Morris (@MoJoe41) July 29, 2018
15.
It all makes sense now. Imagine working from 9-5 and coming back and your kid didn’t take the chicken out the freezer
— AJ Olarinde (@AjOlarinde) July 25, 2018
14.
uhhh of course i’m going to see mamma mia 2 for the 500th time it’s called mamma mia here we go again not mamma mia here we go once
— grace ???? (@gracepxx) July 31, 2018
13.
me to me: bitch you stress me out
— Jennaclaire (@jennaaclaire) July 23, 2018
12.
if i say i’m “running errands” it means i’m doing like one important thing and then i’m getting coffee and going to target
— maddy (@timesnewmaddy) August 1, 2018
11.
hey there Delilah can you please Venmo me some money
— ᴊᴏᴇ (@TravusHertl) July 22, 2018