With my daughter, my nurse told me I could start pushing. So I did. As I lay there counting to 10 i looked up and saw Dragon Ball Z on (cell saga) the tv. I was so into the show I would push while looking up and would get frustrated when I was interrupted to push again.
After over two hours of pushing and fifteen hours of labor, the nurse told me to push “long, strong, and hard.” As I was bearing down, I managed to mutter, “That’s what she said.” My husband looked at me like I was completely insane, but didn’t say a word. He later said he thought I was delirious from pain, but I was really just trying to make myself laugh because I was so miserable.
I was given laughing gas for the pain. Didn’t really make me feel better, it just made me feel high. For three hours i pleaded with the nurses and my kid’s dad to go buy me a pizza and those bastards never went out to get me one.
I was drugged for my C-section, during which time I apparently smacked my doctor on the ass, so she had them tie my arms down. I have no memory of this.
—Allie Still, Facebook
10.
I threw my dad out of the room for bringing in an Oreo Blizzard from Dairy Queen, knowing DAMN WELL that I could only have ice chips. THE NERVE!!!!!!!
Probably when I made my husband stop at Wendy’s before we went to the hospital. I was in labor but felt a violent craving for a triple cheeseburger. He looked at me like I was nuts but stopped anyway. I had contractions right there in Wendy’s but kept right on eating in between. The whole crew there stared at me like I was gonna push the baby out right there while munching down my fries lol.
My mom was holding my pillow and comforting me when I had a really bad contraction. I tried to bite the pillow and ended up biting her arm, leaving a bloody blister.
It was after midnight and I was in the middle of a home birth in our third floor apartment. The baby had just started crowning when there was a knock at our door. To our complete shock, it was a COP! One of my neighbors had made a noise complaint!
