26.
Reminder of one of the darkest moments in history pic.twitter.com/uvu2UhLggW
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) November 25, 2017
27.
My parrot died today. Its last words were, "Fuck, I think my parrot is about to die."
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 13, 2016
28.
I don’t remember this episode pic.twitter.com/eGCzwbH7iF
— Bucky “ask me about updog” Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) December 13, 2017
29.
Me: Excuse me sir, what's your Wi-Fi password?
Him: *[Leans in] *[Whispers angrily]
THIS IS A FUNERALMe: *[Types in]
THIS IS A FUNERAL— Saucy Kensington ? (@Book_Krazy) June 14, 2014
30.
My friend's cat is out here trying to collect some insurance money. pic.twitter.com/rFzaXLiXgi
— Mr. Drinks On Me (@Mr_DrinksOnMe) August 9, 2017
31.
MUGGER: GIVE ME YOUR PURSE OR I'LL SHOOT YOU
ME: *realize I won't have to pay student loans back if I'm dead*
MUGGER: ???
ME: I'm thinking.— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) February 24, 2015