16.
My dentist can do it all, from a simple cleaning to identifying my charred remains
— Lettermas (@oldfriend99) November 18, 2017
17.
The worst thing about owls is the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
— Joe West (@joejwest) September 9, 2014
18.
[sinister narrator voice] sometimes… you don't want to get better pic.twitter.com/5jJWTDaaze
— Allison (@girlinabasement) November 28, 2017
19.
Me: have a nice day sir
*guy leaves store, gets hit by car crossing street*
*i run out, kneel beside him* what did I just fucken tell you
— rudy mustang (@rudy_mustang) March 29, 2016
20.
Just found this massive syringe at my local park, right beside where the kids play football. Absolutely disgusting. pic.twitter.com/NBgRuVNppg
— John Brennan (@UpturnedBathtub) June 7, 2015