Good lesson: people with no friends are probably not good people.
Having long-term close friends, and good female friends, and treats me like a friend rather than someone he’s trying to make it with.
When I began dating my boyfriend, he introduced me to his closest friends, about 10 of them that he had known since he was a little kid. Showed me that obviously he’s a pretty good person if all these people have stuck around with him for nearly 20 years, and he keeps people close through hard times or distance.
Where do I find a dude like this?
I was really struck by something my now SO messaged me after our first casual Skype cam encounter: “If I say anything stupid or you feel uncomfortable, just let me know. Be as straightforward with me as possible.” I mean I would have done so anyway, and I told him “likewise” because of course it’s a two-way street, but it made me feel good that we were both on the same page and were just looking to respect each other.
Accountability. Someone who owns up to their actions and offers a sincere apology when they mess up. My mom had passed from Cancer some time ago and he knew it. However, first real date (we had fooled around before but this was an attempt at something real) he made a cancer joke (not in a hurtful way, just a ‘harhar’ way). I immediately excused myself to the washroom. He was shitting his pants the whole 2 minutes I was gone. I came back and he apologised for sticking his foot in his mouth. I responded with a dumbfounded look – I hadn’t heard him make said ‘joke’. To this day, he feels bad.
Know when to shut up.
For me, a huge green flag is when they are able to keep quiet for a minute and just comfortably enjoy the silence. I am not a chatterbox, and I don’t like to date people that are.
This one is a game-changer.
He wasn’t squeamish about my period when I embarrassingly got it OUR FIRST TIME hooking up. He just laughed it off and was suuuper cool about it.