9. Kind of clever and sweet.
“When I was about 20 and my parents had been married for 29 years, my mom said she was going to make squash with supper. My dad’s response was to say, ‘No, thank you. I never want squash again.’ My mom was all WTF. My dad’s response was that he had eaten it all these years because a) she liked it and b) if you want your kids not to be picky eaters you suck it up and eat whatever is served. We were all astounded.”
8. Believe nothing that you hear, and only half of what you see.
“I met my husband online. I found out right before we got married, after dating for 5 years and living together for 3, that the picture of him posted on the site was staged – a profile of him using a camera timer in his room alone while holding a beer and talking to no one. I don’t know which cracks me up more – that I couldn’t tell or that he kept the secret for so long.”
7. How does this go undiscovered?
“After being married for almost 4 years I learned my wife can play guitar, like incredibly well.”
6. Probably not a bad idea…
“I didn’t tell my wife that I had a Magic the Gathering collection worth thousands of dollars until after we were married.”
5. Seems a bit ridiculous to lie to your wife about.
“While we were dating, my husband always told me this story about how he used to race dirt bikes and that once he wrecked one so badly that he had to have surgery to reconstruct his nose. I had wondered why he looked so different in his younger pictures. Anyway, it wasn’t until we had been married for several years that his mother heard me mentioning that story and how scary that must have been for her, worrying about her son … and she didn’t know what I was talking about. The truth was that he had never wrecked a dirt bike, and his nose looked different because he had been ashamed of his larger-than-average Italian nose, so she saved up her money to buy him a nose job.”
4. I mean, who’s counting anyway?
“My mom told my dad that she’s a few months younger than him. Six months into the marriage, my dad finds out that she’s three years older. 25 years later he still brings up how he was lied to.”
3. If that doesn’t turn you on I’m not sure what will.
“I have been married for almost 8 years, and we dated for 7 years before that. I literally found out last month that my husband can juggle. Like, he can legitimately juggle three balls. My jaw hit the floor.”
2. Run! She is probably a murder.
“That my wife eats pancakes from the center out.”
1. Seems that she hit the marriage lotto.
“My husband and I met as roommates, so I definitely knew much more about him than most, considering we’d already been living together before we even started dating, let alone got married. But it wasn’t until we bought a house together that I found out just how handy he is. Like, he can fix or make anything. He’s re-paneled ceilings, put up tons of drywall, built an entire weightlifting platform and squat rack from scratch, installed new light fixtures and fixed broken plumbing, took out cabinets, refinished floors… Basically every time we need something done, I mention looking into hiring someone and he’s like, ‘No no, let me see if it’s something I can do,’ and then next weekend it’s fixed. He doesn’t even procrastinate on it, he just does it.