When any couple has been together for a significant amount of time, they decide to take the leap and discuss moving in together. In the beginning, couples envision moving in together as though we’re “playing house” like we did as kids. Everything seems beautiful, life is going to get even more fun and your relationship will become even stronger. While all of these things are true, moving in together doesn’t necessarily mean that your version of “house” is going to become reality. In fact, most of the time, it’s the opposite. I recently moved in with my boyfriend a few months ago and I thought it was going to be non-stop laughter, fun, and bliss. And while I am usually laughing, I’m having fun and our moments together are blissful – it’s not a 24/7 type of thing. In fact, it’s far from it.
Facebook user Madelin Cookson shared a photo of her fiancé sleeping in bed, along with a lengthy caption about the reality of moving in with your significant other. So far, it’s gotten over 85,000 shares on Facebook – and, for good reason, too. She wrote:
All to often I hear girls talking about how much they can’t wait to “live with the love of their life, come home to them with a smile, a hug and a kiss, cook dinner together, dance around the house in their underwear and cuddle up next to them and fall asleep.”
Here’s where reality checks in –
Your fiance is a hard working man, who gets up at 5:30 every morning ( When his alarm actually wakes him up) and goes to work in the heat, all day. Some days they are laying block or bricking or doing whatever it is that brick layers do, inside of a building with no a.c. or moving air, or some days he’s in the sun all day until he comes home. When he comes home sometimes he will work around the house or run the few errands he needs to, after that he has just enough energy to take a shower, find a soft place to sleep and falls asleep before his head hits the pillow. Clothes wherever they dropped, shower filthy from his body, and it’s completely quiet and dark in the house. When he does finally wakeup (if he does) he has no energy, there’s no dancing around, or cooking together. Some days Im lucky and he has enough energy to go to the gym with me and come home and go right back to sleep. Other days when he is awake he’s a zombie and we are probably gonna bicker and argue about something small, he’s not paying enough attention to me, or he can’t stay awake to watch a movie with me, or he just doesn’t talk hardly at all and I think he hates me. He’s gone when I wake up, there’s no cooking breakfast together, he does kiss me goodbye but I’m still sleeping and don’t even wake up. Some days I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes open and I sleep all night and wake up still in my scrubs. Were on completely different schedules. Our house is a mess 90% of the time, laundry really only gets done on the weekend along with one or two nights a week, Dinner is some times whatever we make ourselves or pick up on our way home, and we don’t eat together, due to being on completely different schedules. “Dancing around the house in our underwear” to us means running to the laundry room to drag my scrubs out of the dryer in my underwear or him still wet from the shower to grab a towel. I do lots of things on my own during the week, some times my fun for the week is sitting next to him scratching his back so he can rest better while I watch Walker Texas Ranger because I can’t find the remote. Some times I feel like I follow him around like a toddler and pick up after him. And we don’t even have kids to add to all of this like some women do.
Living with someone is NOT all kisses, and rainbows. Living with someone will make you view them completely different, some days I want to strangle him and he feels the same way, you learn so many things about yourself and your other half. You didn’t even know that you could get mad at some of the things you will get mad at. You will get so annoyed at the other person you don’t want them to look at you much less kiss or hug you. But when you are with the person God has made for you, you stick it out through all this. You understand that your hardworking man is doing his job that no one wants to do so that he can provide the best life for us that he possibly can. There are a million other couples like us, even ones that have it way worse. Yes being in love and getting to live with your other half and doing life together is awesome, and i would NOT trade him or my marriage for anything, and wouldn’t ever leave his side and he will never leave mine. I love this every day life I live with him and would not change a damn thing about it.
But it also comes with struggles and obstacles that will challenge you and push you to places you never wanted to go and make you a person, if only for a few seconds, that you never thought you would be. People idolize young love and relationships, and don’t realize all the real life stuff that happens behind that perfect Facebook post or picture on Pinterest they found.
So before you get all excited and think it’s just gonna be the best thing to ever happen to you, also prepare yourself for the reality of things. Because this is what things really look like.
All to often I hear girls talking about how much they can't wait to "live with the love of their life, come home to them…
And, people were grateful to Cookson for sharing her raw, real and true story and point of view.