Drove by his house on my way to work (it’s on my way to work, wasn’t a checking up on him thing), saw them making out. Got through my day (barely) and called him. Asked him how his night was, got an “okay me and T (male bff) got a lot done.” (His excuse for not being with me the night before) “Oh who was the girl this morning?” “That was J, she stopped by to pick something up, she’s just a friend.” “Really? Weird, I don’t kiss my friends like that.” “It’s not what you think…” This went on for a while. I really just wanted him to admit he’d cheated. He never did…
Even better, a few days later J called me and was calling me all sorts of lovely names (whore, slut, etc.) because she thought she was the only one in his life. A couple hours later (after I’d hung up on her) she called with the intent of having a threesome. I started laughing, “and I’m the slut?”clickGot a few calls from her (thanks ex for giving her my phone number, that was sweeet of you!) over the next month or so threatening me.
I received a letter in the mail from a college I never went to. Weird….
Inside, I found the entire texting history between my now ex-husband and his lover. I have determined that the sender was most likely the lover herself or her scorned husband (local police officer.)
Added bonus: At the time, I was 7 months pregnant.
Coming late to the party, but I walked in on him passed out naked in bed with a girl. I had a key to the apartment (not that it was locked anyways) and thought I’d drop by as a surprise.
When he was going on deployment, I got that horrible feeling that something was going on. I looked at the phone bill details and found many calls to a phone number that wasn’t our friends. With dread, I called that number. The woman who answered was aghast because he told her he was single. [Funny thing about that call – this was not the first time she had been seeing a man that she didn’t know was married. She told me that during our conversation. It was surreal.]
He filed for divorce during the deployment and was trying to get it pushed through as quickly as possible. He must have told that new one that he was divorced. Our kids were 3 yrs old and 1 yr old (twins) at the time. It was devastating to me and I was so clueless back then.
Looking back, I realized that the cheating had been going on for a couple of years. I don’t know why he didn’t break it off with me earlier or why he agreed to try for another child when he was seeing other people.
It took a while to get beyond the pain and betrayal. I’m a much happier person now than I was then – and more well-rested now that the kids are older.
I found out he was cheating shortly after I found out I was pregnant, so honestly he probably could have gotten away with it even longer. At the time I was going through all sorts of weird emotions so I pushed off the weird vibes I was getting as “things are weird right meow, you’re reading too much into it.”
When I think back on it, I’m not sure what exactly tipped me off? Days before it was confirmed I realized he was suddenly taking phone calls from someone who, when he spoke to them, was apparently so important that he was talking low and chuckling all flirty and he made sure to be on the phone only when I wasn’t in the room. Then she called while we were in the middle of a serious “what are we gonna do about this baby” kinda talk, and seeing her name/picture pop up on his phone set off an alarm in my gut.
But I couldn’t place the feeling. Finally I just straight up asked if he was fucking around with the girl, he denied it, turned it on me, end of convo.
Few days later he left his phone in the bathroom and that nagging feeling was still there. So I bit the bullet and checked his phone. There were hundreds of texts to/from her, lots of sexual stuff & iloveyou’s. Turned outIwas the other bitch, and he had a 3 yr long distance thing going on with this other girl. I was devastated.
TL;DR found out by looking on his phone, turns out I was the other woman, feelsgoodman.jpg