In life, you’ll meet someone who has changed your life for the better and you feel like thanking them was never good enough, but what happens if it’s a special someone who was more than just a friend and you let it slip through your fingers because things went left too quickly? Well, that happened to me and let me tell you – it absolutely sucks. Everyone can relate to this in some sort of way because there was always that “person who got away” or your biggest regret who you will almost never get over. So, for the boy who left an empty space in my heart, this ones’ for you.
To the one that got away:
The thought keeps drilling in my head – how can you bare the loss of someone who’s alive? It drives me completely insane because there were many things left unsaid and so many questions that were left unanswered and I guess me nor the universe will ever know if those answers could have lead to something different. Although it’s been awhile, I usually don’t like depressing myself with the thought of you being gone. Every day I get the opportunity to look back on our cherished memories and think how much of an amazing soul you were to me.From laughing out loud about silly things to hysterically crying to you about the terrible things. It was one hell of a ride I’ll tell you that much & I will be forever grateful for it.
When I first met you I knew right away that you were going to be special because I have never met a guy who looked at me the way that you did. You looked at me like I was going to save you from whatever it was that you wanted to get away from. You looked at me like If I were the last precious thing on earth. Hell, you just looked at me like if we were meant to be together and it’s such a shame we couldn’t be just that. You were my best friend throughout the years and I was thankful enough to have someone like you by my side who was willing to do almost anything and just the thought of that just makes me want to spontaneously call you and say: ” I miss you, come back…”
(pause)
Holy crap, I need wine.
You are the one that got away for many reasons…
In the beginning, things were great- scratch that – it was awesome, but from time to time I saw it slip away slowly. I understood your reasons for why things needed to be different, but I cannot fathom the thought that I should have done more to make you stay- to make us stay. I overthink it over and over again to see where I missed the holes or if you had given me a sign to stay, but the overflow of thoughts gets to me and then I’m back to square one. At the end of the day, it won’t change anything because it’s been too long and it’s too late. Every day I have to swallow reality a little bit more, but hey I’m a strong girl; I know I’ll get through it.
I didn’t just miss a good thing, but someone who was my best friend.I don’t think I can find a person like you until another lifetime, but I know for sure as hell that I will try to find someone like you. Maybe in another time, we can rekindle this, but for now, I want to wish you nothing but the best because you deserve it. Your happiness means a lot to me and I know that special someone will be the luckiest human on the planet for having somebody like you on their side. They literally have no idea how special you are. In the future, I hope we can have this conversation and simply reminisce and laugh at us being young and stupid. Please know that you and our memories are irreplaceable, know that you are missed every day, and I know that when the day comes that you’ve actually found the one, just know that I will smile from a distance.
P.S- You can always come back, I will always be open for you.
With Love,
Your Past x
….Now, where’s my wine?