I’m crazy because I didn’t appreciate his negative comments about me. Especially when he made them to a number of other women that he was interested in. I’m crazy because I stuck up for myself as he repeatedly told me I was worthless and no one would ever want me. I’m crazy because I wanted to get a restraining order against him after 7 months of him stalking and harassing myself and my family.
Fast forward to two years later, and he is arrested for domestic abuse against his new girl while I’m engaged and pregnant with the love of my life’s baby.
Bitches be crazy.
So according to him, I’m a “crazy ex.”
I had an awful ex that I met at a very low point in my life. He was a compulsive liar and cheater. He loved to tell lies about me all the time. Including that I cheated on him (never,) that he had bought me an engagement ring (nope,) and then the thing I found most hilarious was that he told people that I stabbed him. I’m 5’10 and this guy was 5’5 and scrawny as heck. If I did decide to stab him, he wouldn’t be walking around flapping his gums about it, trying to solicit sympathy.
I became the “crazy ex.”
About 5 years ago I met this guy on OKCupid and we had absolutely everything in common on the surface. I was really excited to have met someone that I meshed so well with, so we talked for a few days then decided to meet up. Right away red flags started waving- he didn’t have a car because he “didn’t drive”, partially because he was afraid to(he claims he was a veteran and had been in a car bomb explosion in iraq, though I could never find any evidence of him ever being in the military) and because he didn’t have a job and thus couldn’t afford a car. Also, I couldn’t pick him up at his house because he supposedly had a crazy roommate who freaked out if anyone came over, so for our first date I had to pick him up from a local park.
I picked him up that first night and as soon as he got in the car I was hit with a strong odor of musty cat pee. Gross but whatever, he was a nice guy and I was going to give him a chance. Side note- turns out the smell was from his roommate’s cats who liked to pee on his leather jacket, which he continued to wear without cleaning it. Ew. I asked him to please not wear it again around me until it had been cleaned. Anyway, we dated casually for a couple weeks and it was fun enough, though I didn’t allow my feelings for him to develop too much since I had a persistent feeling that there was just something he wasn’t telling me. Something big. There were specific times he couldn’t hang out and he told me to never, ever show up at his house so his roommate wouldn’t flip out. He claimed his cell phone had gotten shut off so we couldn’t text or call, but I had seen him make calls and send texts on it when we were together. When I commented on it he claimed he had gotten a prepaid card but it was only enough for one day. It was all just really fishy.
Anyway, one night we were hanging out at my house just dicking around on the internet and watching TV, and I opened up my facebook and had friend request from some random girl. I said out loud “Huh, who’s (girl’s name)? I don’t think I know her”, and his face drained of all color. He blurted out “Oh shit…. that’s my ex! Don’t add her, she’s totally crazy!”.
So of course I added her, my curiosity very piqued by his extremely suspicious reaction. I start poking around her profile and it was an absolute GOLDMINE. All the suspicions I had about this guy’s shadiness were immediately validated. She wasn’t his ex, she was his current live-in girlfriend, and she was 6 months pregnant! Her wall was full of statuses about the two of them shopping for baby clothes, picking out names, and how he was such a good dad-to-be for putting the crib together. He didn’t have a paranoid roommate, he had a fucking PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND. I was furious.
I set my laptop down in front of him with her profile open and silently waited for him to explain himself, and the utter bullshit that came out of his mouth is still burned into my brain to this day. According to him, he had broken up with her several months ago but she apparently “didn’t get it” and she wouldn’t let him leave her. He seriously tried to claim that she was forcing him to stay in the relationship and in her house against his will. The pregnancy was an accident, he didn’t want the baby and had no intention of sticking around to help raise it(and for the life of me I can’t understand why the hell he thought abandoning an innocent child would make me want to be with him), and he only lied to me because he was afraid I wouldn’t date him if I knew he had a girlfriend(well duh). He began to cry hysterically and begged me not to break up with him, and when I said there’s no way I’d ever be able to trust him and thus there could be no relationship, he got mad at ME, called me “mean”, and threw a screaming, stomping fit. It kind of scared me cause he was acting like he might actually hit me, it was unreal.
Needless to say I dumped him. We were still connected on social media, mainly because I wasn’t a very active user and didn’t get on often enough to maintain my lists very well. I logged on to twitter one day about 2 weeks after the breakup and saw a bunch of butthurt rants he posted about cold-hearted bitches and that men only lie because women are so cruel to them when they do tell the truth. Just pathetic, man-baby bullshit. Then I saw his latest tweet that he posted 11 days after the breakup where he announced that he was engaged.
Oh my… 11 days after I supposedly broke his heart he’s already engaged to some woman he met online and had not yet met IRL. I probably shouldn’t have, but I replied to the tweet with something like “Wow, that didn’t take long! Who’s the lucky lady?” with a laughing face emoji. When I logged onto facebook later that day I saw a post from him where he named me specifically and warned all his friends and family that his crazy, psychotic, obsessed ex-girlfriend was stalking and harassing him, and if I tried to contact them, to call the police on me. He also sent me a long, rambling message where he called me all sorts of names, accused me of stalking him, and threatened to get a VPO against me if I ever tweeted at him again.
All I could do was laugh. I peeked at his profiles for a couple more weeks after that and he continued to post more ridiculous bullshit about how crazy I was and how I broke his heart and ruined his life with my meanness. The pregnant girlfriend actually contacted me shortly after the breakup and told me I wasn’t the first girl he had cheated with, and that he had never once tried to break up with her. She had broken up with HIM once she found out about me, I guess I was the last straw. She said he took several weeks to GTFO of her house after she dumped him, and during that time he seriously asked her to go stay in a hotel for a week so his “fiancee” could come visit him in her house. I can’t even make this shit up.
Oh but I’m the crazy, clingy and psycho one. All his friends believe him, of course.
I date this guy for 2 and a half months. He moves in about 2 weeks into us dating. ‘Apparently’ his family treated him like shit so me being a nice person and consulting in my mum, offered him to move in.
First month is all good, it’s great having him there but then he changes. He starts disrespecting my brother and mum and basically bullied me for dropping out of school (I’m 17 and I dropped out at 16 due to personal issues). Anytime someone asked something, I’d go to answer and he’d say “I’ll answer, i finished school”.
The thing that really pushed me over the edge and made me dump him was when he started abusing my cats. My mums friends’ cat had just broken his paw and it cost them nearly $1000. We couldn’t afford that if our cats broke their paws so I spoke to him and asked him to tone down his aggressiveness, he did, but only for a day or two. He’d throw the cats and they’d hit walls and he’d hit them so had that their head would hit whatever they’re standing on.
So I broke up with him over Facebook as he was at his mums house (I couldn’t do it in person because honestly, I was scared of him). He went off and accused me of dating him as a rebound and that I pitied him. He went and complained to anyone and everyone that would listen and say I’m a crazy bitch that treated him horribly and that I was clingy (I was sick at the time so I wanted cuddles). He moves out but forgets a few things, all good, come pick them up the next day. He sends me a list of what he forgot and then said that if any of that stuff is in anyway damaged, he’d ruin my life. Gave his stuff back and blocked him.
2 months later, I unblock him thinking he’ll be over me and stop being an asshole. Nope, he sends me a message saying how much he misses me and wants me back and says he’s sorry for how he acted. I told him he acted like an asshole and he went crazy.He even hoped my mum would miscarry when she falls pregnant.
Anytime that I unblock him, thinking he’s over me (last time I unblocked him was in March or April, so about 9-10 months after the break up), he would not stop messaging me and would constantly harass me, make fun of me for being scared of him (“boo. Haha did I scare you again? I mean, I’m not THAT scary.”), and I couldn’t block him again for another 48 hours.
But now, I actually live in fear of seeing him. Been to the police and they couldn’t do anything. I have to start seeing a counsellor because I’ve developed Agoraphobia (which is a fear of leaving the house/a safe place) and my anxiety has gotten so bad that I can’t do anything without my mum.
I was already marked as the crazy ex, and one girl used that reason explicitly in turning me down.
She dumped me and moved to another state.
I called her daily for a few weeks to try and send her about $600 in jewelry and a purse (not counting the clothes) she had left at my place.
She kept telling people I was harassing her, but apparently had never listened to the messages. She made up her own messages that were me accusing her of shit and threatening to find her new place and assault her.
I ran into a friend of her’s at the bar. She told me the ex’s side of the story. I told her mine. She texted the ex and five minutes later my phone was ringing.
Unfortunately by this point it had been close to two months since the breakup, and I had sold everything for the low price of $70 (which got me a video game and lunch). She was furious. I told her if she wanted that stuff she should have at least listened to one of the messages.