I know her ex’s friends call her the crazy ex. As a couple, they were together almost 30 years. Very conservative, religious, and he had a great banking job and she was a stay-at-home mom who volunteered for the church. Nice house, great kids, decent American cars. Just really great on the surface.
After 28 years, all the kids are grown, she got a job at a little boutique designing — what’s it called? The sports leisure clothing that’s suddenly so popular? Yoga pants and whatnot. Anyway, she gets a job, it barely pays anything, but then she files for divorce.
The minute she files for divorce, everyone turns on her. You’re not supposed to get divorced in their religion, and how crazy is she, she’s got a husband with a good job and a nice house and she’s leaving all that? What?! She said she ran into one of her ex’s friends, and he started shouting at her that she RUINED her ex, she’s a fucking bitch, she should die and go to hell, etc. His wife is pulling him away and saying, “Honey, don’t, the crazy bitch isn’t worth it.”
It turns out that all this time, her husband has been a miser. That might not seem so bad on the surface, but he was a horrible miser. Washing the aluminum foil to re-use it. They washed the foil many times over before they’d throw it away or recycle it. A little bit of recycling is fine. Re-using it ’til it’s falling apart is not reasonable.] Didn’t go to the doctor. Wouldn’t get braces for the kids because it was too expensive. No vacations, no pets, no luxuries of any kind. The reason she knows how to design is because she had to sew everything in their house. The reason she got into running was because it was the only activity she could do that was free.
Now, they have the nice house and the decent cars, … not once cent of debt… and tons of savings and retirement accounts. The guy’s been socking away money for years and telling his wife that she’s nothing but a bloody drain on his resources. No way will he pay for the kids’ college funds.
I turned into the crazy, controlling boyfriend that every girl seems to encounter at one point or another. I wanted to know where she was, who she was with, etc, at all times, was she drinking, how old were the people she was with? Just all kinds of crazy, manipulative shit.
She cheated on me several times, at least three different guys that I know about, anyway, and I made the colossal mistake of forgiving her each time. I had self confidence issues and figured that, if I let her go, I was letting go of the last pretty girl who’d ever want me. I ended up in a new relationship three years later, and it was great. Lasted 2.5 years and we broke up amiably due to life stuff we couldn’t really control, but I am happy to say i’ve never been “that guy” again.
I’m her crazy ex. Why? Because I became extremely emotional over the breakup and sent her lots of texts and called her many times to try and talk to her about what was going on.
I lived with my ex for over nine years. We did everything together. She was my best friend – literally the most important person in my life. I was closer to her than I’ve ever been to anyone by a significant margin. I truly loved her like she was my wife or my family. It’s been three years since we broke up and the idea of dating someone else still feels wrong to me. That’s how committed I was. If you’ve ever really loved someone for a long time then you know I’m not exaggerating.
We didn’t grow apart. We got along just fine when we were together – laughing and joking, similar sense of humor, similar values, similar life goals. It never got boring. We never ran out of things to talk about. Our bedroom was never dead.
Nothing significant happened to break us up. You just have to take my word for it. I’ve explored it with three different therapists, and they all agree with me about what happened. That’s a different discussion, though. The thing is, once she decided to break up with me, it was like a switch was flipped. All of a sudden I wasn’t an individual. I was just her ex – an idea, a complete stranger. I was her best friend for almost a decade, but suddenly it was like she didn’t even know me. It was like that entire decade – something profoundly meaningful to me – had been erased overnight. Not only that, but so much effort, time, and devotion. I could have been spending energy on myself instead of her. She was almost gleeful about the breakup, like it was funny. She showed no sadness whatsoever. Since the morning she broke up with me 3 years ago, I’ve spoken to her for maybe a total of 3 hours.
Also, if there was anything negative about our relationship it’s that she wouldn’t stop talking to her ex from junior high! We’re in our 20’s and this dude comes knocking at our window in the middle of the night because he’s still obsessed with her. He even groped her while I wasn’t there one time and she had to leave the apartment. But, despite all my complaints, she wouldn’t stop being friends with him. The day we broke-up this dude is over at her work trying to get back together with her. It’s worse than that, but it would take too long to type it all out.
He was my only friend and when we broke up it devastated me. I started to make stuff up to keep him talking to me.
This isn’t something I usually tell people…but here it goes. We dated when I was 17-18. had an undiagnosed mental disorder, which caused me to dissociate a lot. I lived in a severely abusive household and I wasn’t allowed out ever- so I had to sneak out to see him. My parents were controlling and emotionally abusive. I was always grounded. It just made me full on crazy. He was my only friend and when we broke up it devastated me. I started to make stuff up to keep him talking to me. I faked being sick just to guilt him into talking to me. I eventually got out of that household, stopped talking to him (despite finally apologizing and admitting I was wrong.). I went to college where they have free counseling, and I got diagnosed with PTSD. I am much better now that I’m 22, and in December I will be graduating with a degree in psychology. As for him? Well, I don’t know. But wherever he is I hope he’s happy.
He told our home town I was some crazy stalker bitch and they believed him.
I was 14 and he was 20.
He took my virginity, we dated for 2 years. He was super controlling and I just wanted to do kid stuff and date other kids.
When I finally dumped him, he threatened to send my nudes to my parents and my boss.