11.
Let's get married so we can argue about whether or not to throw away a 13-year-old plate.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 25, 2017
12.
Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share.
— ?Vampire Valerie? (@ValeeGrrl) December 30, 2015
13.
Marry your true love so you can always wake up together and say, "Breathe the other way".
— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) April 20, 2017
14.
*wife runs back into our house which is on fire*
What are you doing!?
W: I just want to straighten up a little before the firemen get here
— The Cre Master (@Jmboyd58) April 5, 2017
15.
Wife: I have clothes for you to try on.
5-year-old: *flops on the floor*
Me: Grow up.
Wife: I have some for you, too.
Me: *also flops*
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 19, 2017
16.
At least 10% of divorces can be avoided by buying bigger blankets
— X Alqee (@Xalqee) July 9, 2012
17.
My husband & I fight by changing the wifi password.
— jj hartinger (@jjhartinger) November 18, 2016
18.
WIFE: how does this house get so dirty so fast?
ME: *rollerblading through the kitchen while eating some nachos* kids are gross
— Very Scary Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) June 1, 2017
19.
Me: Want me to go grocery shopping?
Wife: NO. All you do is text me questions the whole time. I'll do it.
Husbanding level: Expert.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) October 14, 2016
20.
My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless.
It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 10, 2014