Why Finding Out Your ‘Person’ Doesn’t Feel The Same Feels Like Absolute Sh*t

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they fall in love with someone they feel like they can spend the rest of their lives with. While we go from relationship to relationship in life, experiencing the blissful beauty of falling in love – there comes a particular moment in your life when you fall in love with someone you truly consider to be “the one.”

You start to build a life with this person – planning things, including them in your everyday life and decisions, building a future with them, fantasizing about your life together – it all seems like everything is amazing, perfect, wonderful.

But, there are often times in life that the person you want to be “the one,” doesn’t exactly feel the same way about you. Now, this is not to say that they aren’t in love with you, or, that they don’t want to be with you. But, there are often times when you’re sure about someone – but, they’re not sure about you.

And, when you realize this, it feels like you got hit in the chest by an 18-wheeler.


What do you really do when you fall in love with someone and want them to be your “happily ever after,” but, they aren’t even sure of what they want in life? What if they decide they never want to get married, have children, start a family – what do you really do?

The decisions that you have to make as you get older and fall in love are terrifying. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices and compromise, but, you should never sacrifice your happiness just to be with someone and live in their own comfort zone.

You may love this person – you may love them with every single inch of your being – but, if they cannot give you exactly what you need, you can start over, you can find someone else. Or, you can take a break from dating and reassess your needs and desires.

If you’re someone who needs a definitive timeline and answers, but your “person” can’t give you them, take a step back and think things through. Maybe, this person just cannot give you what you need and, if that’s the case, you need to face those facts. Maybe, after hearing this person doesn’t want those milestones, you decide maybe you don’t either and, you’d rather be with this person than be “married.” Maybe, you’re okay with waiting to see how things unfold. But, maybe, you don’t want to push aside your own needs to please someone else.

Whatever happens – whatever you do decide – remember that the most important person to listen to is yourself. Face the hard truths, the painful realities, and the heartbreaking decisions if you have to – because, staying with someone who cannot fulfill you will always leave you empty.