Love can be a complicated emotion. Sometimes, when you fall in love, it feels as though you’re leaving your body. You surrender the complete control you have over yourself and give a little of that to somebody else. You’re trusting them to take care of that piece of you, treat it right and care for it greatly. You’re trusting them to not throw it away like some discarded toy they have long lost appeal for. You’re trusting them to cherish it like they would their own.
Because of this, when you date someone who cannot fully care for the pieces of you that you’re willing to surrender – it can make the relationship difficult, hurtful and even toxic. When you fall in love, you want it to be with someone who is capable of cherishing you – all of you – and not letting you down. You want to fall for the person who can nurture those pieces of yourself and allow you to become a better version of who you are. Who sees you for who you are and appreciates all that you are.
In life and love, there is a difference between dating a boy and dating a man.
When you date a boy, they look at you as something that is temporary and “for now.” They don’t look at you as someone they can spend their life with, or, even a few years with. They don’t look for something that has substance, but instead, look at something that can keep their time busy – for now.
When you date a boy, they are infatuated with jealousy. They’ll use social media and nights out to play games with you and your heart. They’ll talk to other girls in front of you, text people behind your back and show no consideration for you when you’re not around. They think that making you jealous makes you more committed and attached to them. When you date a man, they don’t play games. If you’re together – you’re together – no problems or jealousy games. You’re his girl, he’s your guy and you don’t need to have any run-arounds about it.
When you date a boy, they look at you for your surface value – they see your looks, your body, how other people see you and how you will look on their arm. When you date a man, they want to get to know you – the real you. They want to learn what makes you tick – your likes, your interests, what your deepest secrets are, how you’ve grown to become the person you are today.
When you date a boy, they don’t take your feelings into consideration. They don’t care if you planned to cook dinner for them on Friday night because they want to go to the bar with their friends. They don’t understand compromise and effort. When you date a man, they know that giving up one Friday night isn’t the end of the world, when you’ve gone out of your way to do something special. They keep your feelings into account and know when to compromise and make sacrifices for you and for your relationship.
When you date a boy, they leave you on read and don’t check in to see how you are. They want to have you chase them, to help their ego feel better. They don’t care if they say they will call you later, they don’t call. When you date a man, he understands what it means to communicate. They don’t care if they text you throughout the day and if it seems “too much,” they care that you feel appreciated and want it to be known.
When you give yourself to someone, it’s a big step in anyone’s life – even if it’s just the beginning. But, you have to decide – do you want to be loved by a boy or loved by a man?