Everything happens for a reason – or at least I’d like to think so. I’ve had some pretty sh*tty experiences, and some amazing ones to prove this somewhat “cliché” saying is indeed fact. Whether or not my experiences turned out good or bad, I’ve always learned from them. One of the biggest lessons I learned was from my most recent ex’s sister a.k.a my current Soul Sister.
Now I know what most of you are thinking right now– ” Is this woman insane?! How the HELL do you find it normal to be such great friends with a family member of a person you broke up with?”
The truth of the matter is I find my situation FAR from normal.
When I first met my now Partner-in-Crime (let’s call her Britney) I never thought we’d become so close. The first time I met Britney I attended an event with my then boyfriend and she kind of gave me the “cold shoulder.” Brit was probably trying to figure out what my intentions were with her brother and wondering if I was like one of the many “not -so-nice” girls he so frequently brought around. Soon enough, Britney saw I was different than the others, and so did her older brother. Not long after this “judgement” period, I started dating my ex and soon became a part of his family. I was included in gatherings with his relatives, and my former beau’s one-and only-sister and I formed a strong bond.
A few months down the line, things became rocky with my now ex. We would fight, break-up, and make up constantly. The first time we broke things off, Britney and I had plans to go to a weekend concert getaway with a group of our friends. Since my ex and I broke-up only a week before the show, I was unsure what to do. I eventually decided to contact Britney and asked how she felt about me still going to the concert. Instantly, Brit told me not to worry and would love if I still came through. At that point, I knew our relationship was an actual friendship and I wasn’t just some irrelevant “ex-girlfriend” of her brother’s.
Time passed, and my rocky relationship flourished into a completely dysfunctional one. Although Britney would witness some of her brother’s and my outrageous arguments, she never got involved. Brit respected our privacy and kept her distance, all while caring for each of us in her own way. I spent 5 years on and off with my old flame and if anything positive came out of the struggles I endured, it was my friendship with his sister and the other special relationships I gained along the way.
To circle back to the beginning of my story, what is meant to be will be. Had I not given my ex a chance, maybe this now close knit group of friends of mine (essentially consisting of people I met while dating this person) wouldn’t have existed.
Furthermore, always remember that each person is an individual. Never judge anyone based on their mom, dad, sister, brother, etc. If you vibe with someone, you vibe… and as long as you are considerate of the other’s feelings there is no reason why you cannot be friends with a relative of a past fling.
Fast forward 6 years later… my estranged ex and I no longer talk, he is dating a new girl, and my friendship with his sis is still going strong! Being in my late 20s, I’ve realized that sometimes things do not work out how you planned, but work out exactly how they’re supposed to, no matter how strange the situation may be.
The friends we meet along the way are the ones who help us appreciate the journey after all…