Whenever we feel as though someone in our life is treating us poorly, the first instinct in our minds is to blame the other person. We constantly succumb to playing the victim role in the majority of situations where we are the ones who are hurt. While there are horrifying and grave situations where we are the victim (in situations such as domestic abuse and violence), there are also different situations where we have no one to blame but ourselves.
You’ve probably heard the corny, cheesy line throughout your life that “you can never love someone else if you don’t love yourself,” and rolled your eyes – maybe gagged a few times when you heard it. While it sounds completely blasphemous to think that we have to be in love with ourselves to be in love with someone else – it’s not super far off.
Loving ourselves is not something that comes easy. Think about it – we’re with ourselves all day, everyday, 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Sure, we’ll get sick of ourselves sometimes. We’ll be hard on ourselves, we’ll judge ourselves, we’ll even scold ourselves for being such f*ck ups every once in a while. Key word – every. once. in. a. while.
It’s normal. Don’t sweat it.
However, reality behind self-love and self-worth is simple – if you don’t treat yourself right, how can you expect others to? It’s more than just being in love with someone else, it’s the foundation for any human interaction you’ll have throughout your life – not just romantic. Acquaintances, friendships, colleague relationships, family bonds – all of these relationships you’ll have throughout your life depend on the way you treat yourself.
It all comes back to you.
If you don’t respect yourself and feel worthy of respect, how can you expect other people to respect you? If you’re constantly talking down to yourself and making yourself feel like crap – it shouldn’t come as a surprise when other people begin to do the same.
I’m not saying you have to be a narcissistic person who can’t get enough of yourself, but you should be happy with who you are as a person overall. If you’re not, then you know that there are things you need to work on. Spend some more time with yourself and figure out why you’re unhappy with the way things are. It’s easier to make changes when you fully understand what’s eating at you inside.
And, it’s important to take the time out to work on these things. When you’re feeling super down on yourself, it can contribute to an array of issues – such as depression. When you work on these things, however, it can help boost your self-worth and self-love.
When this happens, you’ll start to see things more clearly – weed out those bullsh*t, toxic relationships you kept in your life for too long, and start to surround yourself with people who build you up rather than tear you down.
So, stop blaming everyone else for why you feel like complete and utter dog sh*t and start with you.