If you’re single this holiday season, have no fear y’all. I know it can get pretty lonely when you don’t have a boo to snuggle up with by the fireplace, and even more lonely when you’re drunk off eggnog and have no one to be sloppy with underneath your reindeer sheets. But, sex toy company MysteryVibe decided to make an extra special toy for you special ladies during this *wonderful* time of year.
Maybe you’ve heard of the brilliant Crescendo vibrator because, well, it’s f*cking amazing. The vibe has six-motors and can be bent into any shape you need to get your big O. Plus, if you do have a bae, you can use this vibrator for couple’s play – how thoughtful? Not to mention, the company has been extremely innovative in creating an app that is basically a “remote” for your vibrator, so with the swipe of your smartphone, you can control all six speeds.
The brand based in the U.K. decided that this year, they’d get festive with their vibrations and had their genius engineers incorporate vibration patterns to our favorite Christmas Carols. Maybe you’re in the mood for “Jingle Bells,” while you watch some festive porn. Or, maybe you’re into something a bit more mellow and want to get off to “Silent Night.” Or, if you’re in the mood for some fun, they also have “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Brilliant.
To prove how on-point the vibrations are, MysteryVibe founder Stephanie Alys asked strangers to identify each Christmas song on their vibrators and, many of them knew right away.
Basically, using the app, you can choose your vibration setting and use these holiday songs to get off in the right way. Just, you know, don’t tell Baby Jesus.