Twitter is a beautiful and magical place where, in 140 characters or less, women are changing the world. Ok fine, maybe not always “changing the world,” but definitely making solid jokes about our boobs.
1.
me during morning shift: ay who the FUCK closed last night
me closing at night: this looks like a problem for the opener
— Neek (@babyltaly) April 18, 2019
2.
HOW has this just happened?!?!??!!? pic.twitter.com/lSJJqQmNik
— Cez👁 (@HardyCerys) April 30, 2019
3.
https://twitter.com/_dlew32/status/1122946709628313601
4.
https://twitter.com/holly_warcup/status/1123699188104093697
5.
“When he fuck me good I take his ass to Panera.” pic.twitter.com/s3mnaodd0k
— Jah. (@Jeesa_Jay) May 2, 2019
6.
i'm whichever meyers briggs type loses interest in finishing the test halfway
— dylan gelula (@DylanGelula) May 1, 2019
7.
S/o to my 11 year old brother for grabbing my wax pen when i forgot it in the car 😂😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/1cuVRJe6Ok
— lalita🌻 (@lalaa_408) May 3, 2019
8.
The Golden Girls is the most relatable TV show for a millenial, as I too will be renting with several roommates until I'm 80
— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) April 30, 2019
9.
https://twitter.com/issamariumali/status/1123051903653486592
10.
Wherever all my Tupperware lids are, I truly hope that they are happy
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) May 1, 2019
11.
Owned by my boarding pass pic.twitter.com/3RWiWogPWL
— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) May 3, 2019
12.
*shows up 45 minutes late for my interview to be a cable installer*
Interviewer: “You’re hired.”
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) May 1, 2019
13.
[dipping my feather quill into the inkwell and adjusting my spectacles] dearest diary, it seems the day is different but the shit remaineth the same
— kaci sue who (@kacisuewho) April 30, 2019
14.
You had 2 hours to put your shoes on… https://t.co/TDGYz2vwr1
— robowife (@itsregn) May 1, 2019
15.
https://twitter.com/franhoepfner/status/1123756600219570181