24.
she was incredibly toxic. we had been best friends since grade school, i had moved states but we maintained long distance contact for years, tho it became clear we were headed in different directions. i was eager to get started on my life and my studies. she was more interested in relationships. there were a few years i didn’t have the funds to visit her in person, it wasnt until two years ago that i was able to. and by then she was a completely different person, which she had been hiding in our conversations. she had very low self-esteem, refused to acknowledge her mental illnesses, self-harmed, and placed all of her value within relationships, sex, and really just the attention she could receive from men in general (all of this from a very abusive relationship she had just gotten out of of). i was completely the opposite. i visited her often and while i still found fragments of the person i loved and cherished, it was sorta swallowed up in all this negativity. i ignored it for as long as i could, before i started listening to the people around me that kept telling me it was time to let her go (my mother, my sister, my boyfriend, and even some of my own friends). she was extremely irrational, had become reckless with her choices, and was deeply unhappy. i tried the best i could to help her, but it was affecting me as well. by the time i stopped visiting her, she had entered another toxic relationship despite my warnings; she had told me, to my face: “nobody can convince me to not be with him. not even you.”
i cut her off earlier this year, and i still miss her like crazy. but i notice my anxiety has really toned down since then.
23.
I tried to help her with her addiction to drugs and she cut me off. It’s been six years since I talked to her and I just found out she died. I have known her since I was sixteen and I am fifty four now. It was very hard to see how she changed from a sweet girl to a completely different person.
22.
we grew up together only 2 houses apart, and then I moved… went to the same school, but we had different crowds. It was just really hard to hang out with her. Her personality was negatively emotional and took subtle hints to the next level though; for example would be the day I told her I lost my virginity, and she automatically claimed me to be a whore (in a serious way). Felt really weird after that, and just stopped telling her things. Then we just completely disappeared from each others lives… last time I tried to make a connection was only a few years ago when I came to her house to “trick-or-treat” (this used to be OUR thing) anddd her mom came to the door, explaining how she is sick and can’t come to the door. Not sure how she is or what she’s been up to but I still wish her the best of everything.
21.
I came out as a lesbian in my early 20’s and my BFF from the time I was in kindergarten didn’t take it well. She stopped talking to me and eventually I gave up trying to communicate with her. It did break my heart, we’d been very close for a long time, but I was ok with her going her own way if she couldn’t support me being me.
20.
She decided that she’d rather date my brother than be friends with me. I never gave her an ultimatum she just chose to end our friendship. They have been together 8 years and are now engaged. Holidays are like suuuuper awkward.
19.
A few years ago I saw one of those tumblr posts that went something like “don’t go across the ocean for someone who wont cross a puddle for you,” or something along the lines of needing to reevaluate friendships if you’re the one reaching out all the time.
So I stopped being the first one to message her, and immediately our communication levels drop. And when she does message me, its always asking me to drive an hour plus to drive her another hour somewhere, so she wouldn’t have to use the bus. She never repaid me in food or gas ever, even when asked, so I made myself less available. Most of the time I was actually busy, trying to manage two jobs.
As soon as I stopped being a free taxi, she no longer had a use for me. The last time she reached out was 2 years later, when she wanted me to donate money to her so she could buy a tablet.
18.
I broke off all contact to my best friend of 22 years after I got into a pretty severe depression and she showed no sign of caring about it. I mean I didn’t want her to nurture this devil inside of me, but she just expected me to function like I did before I got sick, and whenever I dared to say it was too much for me to handle, she would be really offended. After unsuccessfully trying several times to explain to her what was going on, I just had to give up because every time we met I would feel physically ill. The weird thing is that I don’t miss her at all. I’m actually glad she is not part of my life anymore.
17.
Few days after i broke up with my then boyfriend, she told me that she had been crushing on him since they were in middle school and that she wanted to pursue him. I said go for it and never talked to her anymore.
16.
This will probably get buried, but I had a best friend who I really loved and thought of as a sister. Our friendship was great up until I started expressing interest in a man she and her boyfriend introduced me to. She started spreading rumors about me and started telling me to my face that I wasn’t good enough for the guy I wanted to be with. She kept making comments about how it didn’t make sense that men liked me and not her and that it wasn’t fair. I’m not really sure what her issue was; I never believed that she actually had feelings for him. I always felt like she was just threatened that I was getting male attention and she wasn’t. I knew she was deeply insecure about her appearance, and I thought this was part of her insecurity. I thought we’d be able to work through it, but it never ended. She wouldn’t even acknowledge what she was doing; if I tried to talk to her about it, she’d just insist I was lying to make her look bad. Her behavior escalated to the point where she sent me a text message telling me she did not care about me or my happiness at all and that my feelings and well-being would never come before her pride. I cut her off right then and there.
For years, we did not speak. After three years, she sent me a message saying she was sorry and she had changed and was a better person now. I tried to give her another chance, but as soon as the conversation started, she brought up the guy from before and immediately started telling me that I wasn’t good enough for him and was not allowed to be near him, etc etc. I cut her off again. Over the past year, she’s been trying to contact me in various ways, but I keep blocking her because I just don’t need this in my life. I can’t understand why she’s so hung up over this guy. I haven’t spoken to him in years. And I don’t need someone in my life who thinks she can control my relationships with others or take out her insecurities on me. It’s really sad because I really did love her, but that girl who I thought was my close friend is completely gone. She’s become someone who treats me with jealousy and hostility, and I don’t want that in my life.
15.
We had been best friends for years and I started dating a guy and she was so horrible about him. Saying he wasn’t good looking she didn’t want him to come on nights out with us etc. I really liked him and it made me see her completely different. 7 Year’s later I’ve not spoke to her and I’m still with the same guy, we have a son together and soon to be married.