20+ People Share Crucial Things They Learned About The Opposite Sex Waaaaay Too Late In Life

24. This guy who thought breasts felt like sandbags, maybe:

Breast are soft. Being a loner meant I never felt any, and I assumed they are like muscular or something, not stiff, but firm nevertheless.

23. This guy who can at least admit when he made a fool of himself:

My exes used IUDs for contraception that pretty much stopped their periods. At 24, my current gf is my first real exposure to a regular menstrual cycle. One time while getting intimate, she says ‘by the way, i have a tampon in me’. I ask ‘but… What’s it still doing there?’

Well i thought you use it like a pipe cleaner and then take it out.

22. This girl who was rudely awakened:

I thought when my period came, I could just sit on the toilet for a few minutes until it was over, like peeing.

21. This person who also was rudely awakened:

I thought periods were a one and done type thing, not a monthly ordeal. It made me wonder if my teacher was crazy sentimental when she said her daughters mark it on their family calendar

Edit: she told us this in Sex Ed to encourage tracking it

20. This guy who really did not understand:

Way god damn late to the party but I posted this before and wanted to share again. I used to think my testicles were my unborn kids. Like one day they would hatch and bam, I would have two kids! I was always confused when I saw people with like 8 kids, and wondered how he walked before!

19. This guy who made a mess:

Being a young kid, I used to hump my bed to get off. It’s because I had Cinemax in my room, and my parents didn’t know. So I got to watch passion cove all the time. I figured hey, he’s doing this to that pretty lady. I can just imagine she’s under me too. Now obviously I was shooting blanks and for the longest time I thought this is always how it would be. Well was I in for a surprise the first time I ejaculated. I was so mad that I had a mess to clean up now. I missed the days of rattling them off with nothing to worry about.

18. The chick who likes the eunuch look:

Good friend of mine had testicular cancer. Recently another friend made a comment that his wife must be so happy to not have to deal with balls anymore because “they just hang there” and it must be so much nicer looking. She thought that the entire ball sack was removed and he was just left with a penis.

17. This other guy who got it exactly backwards:

Not the opposite sex but of my own sex.

I watched ‘Robin Hood, Men In Tights’ as a young child. They have a part in the movie about circumcision. Basically they make a joke that circumcision is done with a mini guillotine. So for years I thought circumcision was cutting off the tip of the penis.

In middle school I was in the locker room and noticed a penis with no tip. This only confirmed my suspicion. I assumed he was circumcised and I was not. In hindsight I realize that the foreskin was covering the tip and he was actually uncircumcised and I was circumcised.

It wasn’t until high school when I told my first girlfriend I was uncircumcised and she had to explain to me that I was not. Some guy in the locker room and a short bit in a movie were not good evidence to argue my case.

But on the upside, I get to tell this story about once a year and it always gets a laugh.

16. This chick who thinks perversion is pervasive:

A girl I know that I used to fool around with has a 5 year old son now (not mine).

We were talking one day and I don’t know why it got brought up but she called him a little pervert, and that all guys are perverts. I ask why, and she explains that we constantly think about sex at night because we wake up in the morning with erections.

She called her five year old son a pervert for having morning wood.

I had to explain to her that it’s something we literally can’t control. Doesn’t matter what we are dreaming about, there’s like a 99.9999% chance we are gonna wake up with a rager.

She still didn’t believe me.

15. This dude who gave himself away:

Where a woman’s vagina actually is. It’s much lower and tucked back than I thought. My now wife may have had doubts about whether or not I was a virgin, but within the first moments of foreplay she couldn’t stop laughing.