Having small breasts isn’t just a facet of your physique — it’s a damn lifestyle. If you’ve got a small chest, chances are decent that you’ve felt self-conscious about your bosoms (or lack thereof) on more than one occasion. By the same token, you’ve probably also felt major relief at, say, not having to wear a bra every single time you need to run to the grocery store.
There are some annoyances with small boobs, but there are also a lot of magical fringe benefits.
If you need any further proof, here are some totally-random-yet-completely-relatable thoughts that every girl with small boobs has on a semi-regular basis:
14. “Sagginess is definitely not in my near future.”
One of the many highlights of having small boobs is the fact that you’re not gonna have to worry about those flowers droopin’ anytime soon. They’re slight, but they’re perky! They sit up as if to say, “Hello, how can I help you today?”
13. “This top fits perfectly … well, except for the boob area.”
Okay, clothing can be tricky when you have a smaller chest. Even if something fits perfectly around your shoulders and waist, you’re often left with an awkward gaping neckline where the designer clearly intended for some boobage to be. At that point, you either have to throw your hands up in frustration or make peace with the fact that you’re going to have to go to a tailor.
12. “Is he going to be disappointed when he takes my top off?”
Having small boobs shouldn’t affect your romantic interludes. Unfortunately, that nagging voice in your head frequently convinces you that a guy’s going to be extremely disappointed when he finally gets you naked and realizes that you’re packin’ some petite sweater puppies. (Although honestly, if he’s not a complete idiot, he will have taken notice of your chest size well before things progress to No Pants City.)
11. “No back problems? Amazing.”
You sympathize with busty gals, you really do. But, not having to haul around major boob weight makes you feel completely unencumbered and FREE.
10. “The day I can wear a low cut dress without a push-up bra will be a cold day in Hell.”
I mean, yeah. Small boobs can’t do that magical cleavage thing without a little bit of help. You’ve got to bring in reinforcements in the form of padding, underwires, and adjustable straps. In some cases, you even have to turn to the dreaded fashion tape.
9. “Muahaha, but I CAN sleep on my stomach!”
Ah, yes. There are no forbidden positions when you’re not inhibited by a larger chest area. (This goes for sleeping and, well, not sleeping, if you know what I mean. *Wink wink*)
8. “No bra? No problem!”
Seriously! It’s magical! Leaving the house with no bra feels deliciously airy and comfortable, and it’s a luxury which we small-chested folk can enjoy free of worry. (Although I will admit that exposed nipples are equal-opportunity offenders and can affect ladies with both small and ample bosoms.)
7. “Um, a strapless swimsuit? Yeah, I don’t think so.”
Ha, sure — but if you wanted a swimsuit that was going to end up around your waist, you’d just buy a belt.
6. “I’d figure out my real bra size — if I were a glutton for punishment.”
Many small-chested women don’t really go in for the whole “getting measured” thing — largely because it’s like going to the doctor when you already know what the diagnosis is going to be. And in this case, that diagnosis is basically some version of an A-cup. So, no, you don’t need someone telling you what you already know: that you have no boobs.
5. “Are sports bras TRYING to give me low self-esteem??”
You get it: sports bras have value. They do. They contain jiggle and bounce and make the athletic experience more comfortable for the average busty gal. However, a sports bra on a lady with smaller boobs is essentially the equivalent of an ACE Bandage wrapped around your chest, leaving you flat as a damn pancake.
4. “Well, at least sweaters never look frumpy on me.”
This is definitely one of the Small Boob Perks (aside from literal perkiness): you can wear oversized and baggy tops without appearing lumpy or oddly-shaped. Which, during winter, is practically a godsend.
3. “Cute bralettes? Absolutely an option.”
Here’s a secret: bralettes are totally useless and serve no purpose whatsoever. But you know what? They’re cute as hell. And small-chested ladies can rock these ineffective scraps of lace pretty much whenever we please.
2. “NO. STRAP. MARKS.”
Again with that light, unencumbered feeling! When you’re rockin’ small boobies, your bra doesn’t have to feel like a damn boob jail — it feels more like a gentle suggestion for your boobs to stay on their best behavior.
1. “Why the hell do people hate on small boobs, anyway?”
Seriously. They’re not just acceptable, they’re great! If we wrote off all the celebrity women whose breasts are smaller than C-cups, we’d be missing out on some major beauty icons. Give the Itty Bitty Titty Committee some love, y’all!