20.
Have kids so you can forever be trapped in the never-ending cycle of "finally getting over being sick" and "just starting to get sick again."
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) April 18, 2018
19.
5 cried when the restaurant didn’t bring her enough bacon and this is the first time her emotional outburst has made sense.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) April 15, 2018
18.
It’s like dueling pianos, except it’s a 9yo on the piano and a 7yo on the kazoo and nobody would ever pay for this.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 11, 2018
17.
Husband just fixed the toilet, and my 5yo couldn’t remember the word “plumber” so he called him a “toilet master” and let’s be honest, broken toilet or not, that’s the perfect nickname for him.
— MacgyveringMom (@MacgyveringM22) April 16, 2018
16.
Me then: You kids have to stop leaving your toys everywhere!
Me now: Awww the dogs left their toys everywhere, they’re so cute.
— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) April 17, 2018
15.
Me: What did you do at school today?
5-year-old: Learned about dragons.
Me: Your class learned about dragons?
5: I learned about dragons. I don't know what everybody else was doing.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2018
14.
“It feels weird to smile in the mornings.”
— My 11-year-old transitioning into adulthood.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) April 16, 2018
13.
Scientific studies prove that kids will take more time "picking a prize" than adults will spend deciding if they want to have kids.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 7, 2018
12.
Helping your kids with their math homework is a good way to teach them about math and swear words.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) February 7, 2018
11.
Just overheard my toddler say “uh-oh” from the other room, which either means I need to retrieve a toy from behind the couch or we need to change our identities and move out of state again.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) April 17, 2018
10.
Parents, when you go to the bathroom don’t forget to lock the door so your kids can show you what it would be like if zombies were trying to break down your door in an apocalypse.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) April 18, 2018