When it comes to things going on in the world today, almost nothing surprises me, especially in the United States. Look at our President (can we really say things are “normal?”) Wisconsin Police are officially on the hunt for a”serial toilet clogger” who is on the loose and causing a ruckus in Sheboygan. While there are way worse crimes the Police Department can be focusing on–it seems as though enough people are angry about the “clogged toilet scandal,” that it warranted a PSA on the department’s Facebook page.
The Sheboygan Police Department and the Department of Public Works is asking the public to please not place trash or other rubbish into a public toilet.
I know what you’re thinking at this moment. “Why is the Police Department telling us not to put trash in the toilet?” Well…I’ll tell you why. Over the past year and a half, someone has been clogging the women’s toilet at the Deland Community Center with a 20 ounce soda bottle. How does one do this and how many flushes does it take? Flushing is not necessary as the person is actually inserting the bottle into the toilet pipes. Why do this? I do not know, but if you help us find the person, I will tell you. This is very strange… and gross, but that is the reality of life.
This has led to thousands of dollars in repair and labor costs and unavailability of the public restrooms. The members of the Sheboygan Police Department partner with the Department of Public Works to keep our parks and facilities clean and safe. We are currently looking to find the said person or persons to hold them accountable. Please help us to keep our parks clean and safe for our residents and visitors.
They even provided an adorable graphic along with the PSA.
If it makes you feel any better, the city’s superintendent of parks and foresty, Joe Kerlin, told MySheboygan.com that the toilet was clogged 12 times in 2016, 14 times in 2017 and three times this year. That’s a whole lot of clogging if you ask me. Some people have responded to the Police Department with some “ideas” for catching the bandit.
Check the bottle for prints.
BOLO:Suspect can be identified by thumb on right side of right hand, or an extremely long thumb on right hand that can wrap around a 20oz soda bottle to form a firm grip-as denoted by the Sheboygan Police Sketch Artist image above.
Anonymous sources also state suspect is know to frequent local Karaoke bars, singing the tune ‘You Should Be Boinkin’ In Sheboygan’.
If you encounter the suspect, please do not approach and instead call 911 because…you probably wouldn’t want someone shoving a 20oz soda bottle up your pipes either.
What a time to be alive.