11. Just never speak to him again.
He pauses for longer than normal when he’s telling a story so you think it’s time for you to respond, or that the story is done. But then the second you say something he gets crabby and says “I’m not done” or “can I finish?” But if you think the end of the story is a pause he gets pissy and thinks you didn’t pay attention because you didn’t respond. It’s a stressful situation to be in.
He falls asleep every time we watch a movie. BUT he’ll never let me pick the movie I actually want to watch so we end up watching what he wants to then he ends up falling asleep anyway
13. Buy ear plugs.
He listens to the same 5 damn songs over and over again in the car….every….single…time
14. This is why women nag.
“I’ll handle it, honey.” 3 weeks later… eye twitch
15. Andy is awful, definitely, dump her.
She sings over any song she recognizes, without fail. It reminds me of Andy from the Office. It’s usually cute, but the whole Rent soundtrack on our last road trip was difficult for me.
16. I’d say Goodbye forever.
Every time I get up from the couch to go to the bathroom or get something from the kitchen he yells “GOODBYE”
17. But, honestly, why?
He flushes the toilet about 2/3 through peeing so there is still a little pee left in the toilet after it’s done flushing.
18. Her and 99% of humanity.
My girlfriend is the biggest worrier about that shit she shouldn’t worry about and then so nonchalant about the shit she should worry about.
19. Blankets FTW.
My boyfriend can’t sleep without a fan on full blast in the winter or an A/C at 62F in the summer. I’m iron deficiency anemic – literally always cold, to the point where 70F is when I stop shivering. I’ve gotta sleep with three blankets constantly but he never complains when I shove my cold feet between his thighs for warmth so I’d call us even.
20. At least it’s not roadkill.
He brings home stuff he finds on the side of the road. He also brings home informative pamphlets from literally everywhere we go.