When we’re young, it’s a common narrative that we have an insanely large group of “friends.” We refer to everyone as our friend, our bestie, our BFF, but in reality–they’re mostly just acquaintances and we have a few good friends in our circle. As we get older, things change. We go away to college, we have new priorities, we outgrow some of our childhood friendships. Most likely, as we get older, our circle gets smaller and smaller. Now, I’m all for having a small circle–it makes everything in life simple and easy. But, there are those moments in life when we step back and realize–sh*t, I really don’t have that many friends. While it’s not a predicament many go through–it’s something some Millennial women go through.
In my own personal experience, I don’t have many friends. I grew up and moved on from a lot of friendships that were in different places and were toxic to me. I didn’t go away to college, so I never got to make those solid, “life-long” family friendships many people do when they live with others for 4 years straight. And, many of my jobs have required me to work-from-home, rather than in an office. I basically have set myself up to be a hermit and not socialize with new people on an everyday basis (sucks to suck, right?). While I absolutely love my own company, and my boyfriend is pretty awesome, I know that not having some solid girls to grab drinks, tacos, or go dancing with can be pretty straining on a 20-something-year-old’s life. So, I ventured out and tried to find ways to make some new gal pals in my life.
When you’re young, making new friends is pretty f*cking easy. You’re in high school and you see the same people every day. Or, you’re in college and you can join a bunch of clubs, sororities, or even make friends in your major–it’s all convenient. When you’re an adult, everyone kind of seems to have their life all sorted out (from the outside at least). They’re in relationships moving forward to get married, they have their own circle of friends and seem as though they don’t have “room” for a +1–it’s almost defeating to look at. But, I’ve discovered there are some pretty full-proof ways to make new friends as an adult, if you give a f*ck to try.
1. Meetup groups.
I discovered meetup groups through my family. My mom is a single parent whose friends are virtually all married. While they’re great to grab dinner with every once in a while, she needs those girlfriends she can go do things with on a regular basis (much like me, 30 years younger). Meetups are great because if you live anywhere near a big city, they have hundreds of them for any kind of interest. Since I live in New York City, the possibilities are indeed, endless. Essentially, you sign up and do something you’re into with a bunch of strangers who are also into it, as well. You can pick the specific age range, so you’re not 20-something hanging out with 50-year-olds. They have some pretty dope activities, too. If you’re into art, you can go to a museum exhibition. If you like comedy, they have comedy shows and dinners. There’s really something for everyone. The best part is that the groups are pretty small and everyone is there for the same reason–to meet people.