13. Spotty.
fireman: ok so we extinguished the house fire
me: did u bring the Dalmatian
fireman: what? we just saved your life
me: where's the dog
— kurtis conner (@kurtisconner) January 30, 2016
14. Picture this.
Interviewer: u worked in sales before?
Me: yeah
Interviewer: what's your background?
Me [gets phone out]: picture of my dog eating spaghetti— David Hughes (@david8hughes) May 1, 2017
15. Khakis would look dumb is why.
accountant: "youre basically broke"
wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff"
me: "lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid"— k e i t h ?? (@KeetPotato) October 27, 2015