fireman: ok so we extinguished the house fire— kurtis conner (@kurtisconner) January 30, 2016
me: did u bring the Dalmatian
fireman: what? we just saved your life
me: where's the dog
14. Picture this.
Interviewer: u worked in sales before?— David Hughes (@david8hughes) May 1, 2017
Interviewer: what's your background?
Me [gets phone out]: picture of my dog eating spaghetti
15. Khakis would look dumb is why.
accountant: "youre basically broke"— k e i t h ?? (@KeetPotato) October 27, 2015
wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff"
me: "lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid"