In this case I was just dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I couldn’t wrap my head around what was going on. I stared at him with what must have been the most confused look, and watched as he stared back at me, an expression of utter horror painted across his face.
I couldn’t make any sense of what was happening, but I also didn’t have time to try. I heard the foot steps of my boss, coming to see what the sound was.
It suddenly sunk in that it didn’t matter why he did what he did. He did it and we were all about to come face to face with a very awkward situation.
I could feel the anger flush through my face. For a brief moment I contemplated trying to help my husband get out of this. But No. This was his dumb-shit-bed and he could lie in it. Not like there was any possible recovery anyway.
My boss walks in and sees the steak lying on the window sill There’s the fucking longest most awkward pause where we all just sit there frozen. My boss and I are staring at my husband, forcing the ball into his court, as the cringe just hangs in the air like an ocean fog.
He finally manages to mutter some incoherent garbage about being a clutz and even tries to get me to back him up. I leave his ass out to dry in the deafening silence.
He makes a poor attempt at cleaning the window and retrieves his steak. Mercifully, my boss asks me a question about work and we both dive eagerly into conversation.
We all resume the rest of the evening pretending that he isn’t there, a sort of unspoken agreement by all that this is the only way to move forward.
As soon as we got to the car, my husband turned into a nervous chatterbox trying to explain himself.
Turns out the dumbass didn’t like the way his steak was cooked (rare) and – get this – he thought the window was open. My husband, ladies and gentleman, tried to chuck his steak out a 3-story window. He thought that was a reasonable solution to being served an under-cooked steak.
A year or so later my boss hosted a Christmas party for the company at her newly-built home. My best friend, Jennie, was my +1.
TL;DR: Took my husband to dinner at my boss’ house. He thought his steak was undercooked, thought the window was open, and thought throwing his steak through the window was a reasonable idea.
Note: My husband told this TIFU from his perspective a couple years ago and it was a popular post. Someone suggested I should tell it from my perspective. Hope our discomfort brings a little joy to you fine redditors 🙂
Edit: OK Guys, I probably overplayed the “dumb shit” angle. Yeah, he’s known for acting without thinking things through, but this one moment does not represent the norm. From my perspective, in this moment, he looked like a looney bin character gone mad… which is what makes the story so funny in retrospect. Go read his perspective and his actions look at least a little bit less crazy. My husband is a fun-loving, kind husband and father who makes life very fun.
