Screw etiquette.
“As previous answers indicate, it is not bad etiquette to send back a dish you don’t like the taste of. You are the guest (customer), you have a right to expect that the food will be to your liking. Bad etiquette would be complaining loudly and rudely (“this dish is crap”) or using foul language or saying abusive things to the server. But if you politely say, “I’m sorry, but this dish is too spicy/undercooked/overcooked/not what I expected,” the server and management will most likely be happy to make it right for you.”
I’m serious, it is not a hassle.
“Not at all! Some less well-mannered employees may see it as a hassle, but the customers that send back bad food are the customers that help the staff learn from their mistakes. For example, if you ask for a steak medium-rare, and it comes out well done, if you don’t send it back, you basically paid for a steak that you won’t enjoy. But if you do send it back, not only will you (hopefully) get a better steak next time, but it helps management teach the cook to keep an eye on his steaks more carefully. This helps iron out the problem quickly so the next customer won’t have the same issue. It helps the restaurant serve a better product to everyone!”
Well, it could be but…
“Yes and no. The restaurant is responsible for cooking great food and TRYING to make you happy. But if you’re not happy because you ordered the wrong thing, or you’re just a picky eater — that’s on you, that’s not the restaurant’s fault, sorry. I can’t tell you how many times I regretted ordering what I ordered, and wanted the delicious thing my spouse ordered — but I would never blame the restaurant for that, much less send back my plate. That said, I’m suspicious of the restaurant because it doesn’t sound like the server did a very good job of trying to make your wife happy. But I’m equally suspicious of the diners — they may be the kinds of people who are always finding fault at restaurants instead of enjoying all the wonderful food that’s out there. Most people have no clue about the enormous efforts most restaurants go to in order to give diners a seamless experience and consistently good food. A good restaurant is a daily minor miracle and should not be taken for granted. When people play food critic and nit-pick everything instead of enjoying it, that’s not good for restaurants and it’s not good for them. It’s a recipe for unhappiness. In this case I think what happened is a win-win. You won’t go back to that restaurant, and that restaurant will be better off to not see you again. Hopefully there is a restaurant where the picky eater can find things she likes, and you just keep going there instead of exploring new uncertain places. Some people don’t like tasting new foods; there are plenty of good solid Spaghetti Factory-type places where the food is decent and people are never asked to taste something outside their comfort zone. To each his own.”
Only eat at fine establishments.
“A couple of times I have ordered something that I have never had before and did not like the taste. When the wait staff asked how things tasted, I was honest and they took the dish away and replaced it with something I did like. There have been a couple of times when I complained about the food and just got a shrug from the wait staff; in these cases I usually write to the head office and seldom return to that particular place. While it’s not bad etiquette, it really depends on the establishment as to what they will do to please a customer.”