2017 has been a weird year for vaginas. Goop tried to convince us to buy a $66 jade egg to insert into our vaginas to “recharge” with the power of a full moon. Against doctors’ better judgements, women began cleansing their vaginas by twisting peeled cucumbers inside them for 20 minutes at a time. Someone on Etsy was actually trying to sell wasps nests as a method of tightening the vagina and improving libido.
But unless you had $66 to spare or were stupid enough to stick a wasp nest up your vagina, (cucumbers don’t seem so bad if you’re not using them as a cleanser…) there’s no way your vagina had as bad a year as any of the women on this list.
Compiled by the US Consumer Product Safety Commission, the list is pulled from a database of emergency room visits and documents the most bizarre things pulled from vaginas by doctors in 2017. The staggering variety and imagination of the items is truly awe-inspiring.
The items found in vaginas include: A bike reflector, headphones, and a phone and money (together). Because the average length of a vagina is just under 4 inches, the candlestick, bike reflector and headphones got stuck and required doctors to aid in removing them.