Do you remember me?
Of course you do. It’s not like it was decades ago that we spoke or embraced one another. Rather, I’d like to ask how you remember me. Do you ever catch yourself smiling like an idiot when you think of me? Do you giggle when you think of some silly moment between us? Sure as hell happens to me all the time. Maybe you remember me in a negative way, and are trying to forget me? I’ve tried and tried to forget the happy thoughts I associate with you because they’ve done nothing but hurt me. It hasn’t worked for me, but maybe you succeeded. The silence from you sure makes it look that way. I wish I could hear from you. I’m afraid to be the one to reach out.
FullmetalGrape
We will never be “friends”
A,
Despite what I said, I do wish we could be friends. You said you were disappointed that we couldn’t and so am I. I feel like you belong in my life, no matter the arrangement, but I can’t be your friend because I’m in love with you and I will always feel that way about you. I started falling in love with you the moment you walked through the door at our first date. I kick myself for pushing it all down; I really don’t form connections with people as fast as I felt connected to you and it was truly terrifying. Maybe I didn’t show you the real me because of it and maybe that’s how I screwed everything up. Maybe I’ll never know. I do know that by the end of our last date, my heart wanted to love you deeply and forever (my head wanted the same).
It’s been four weeks since I last heard from you. I’ve missed you every minute of it. I miss your inquisitive gaze; I miss your smile and our amazing conversations; I miss telling you “sweet dreams” before you head off to bed. I still jump when my phone goes off – “maybe that’s her and she’s finally decided to give me the second chance I pleaded for?” It’s never you. I know it’ll never be you. I wish I could move on, but I keep hoping that you’ll come around. If you ever change your mind, know that there’s a permanent spot in my heart for you, but we can never be “just friends.”
MyAltersAllSuck
